|Yes, I can get a little crazy!|
Last year at this time, I had just had my cochlear implant operation, and the surgery was horrible experience. I was throwing up all night, and had no idea what was ahead for me. What little bit of hearing I had was gone, and it would be a long journey to healing, getting fitted with the outside unit, and realizing I couldn't hear music anymore.
Now, although I still grieve about music, I am happy I can hear more speech than I did before my operation. It's not perfect. I still have problems in any place that has background noise. I still read lips, or as a woman who has been deaf all her life taught me, its called "face reading".
Stopping drinking was, and still is, a little bit like this. At first it felt like a horrible experience. How would I ever make it? I had no idea how I would be able to cope with all that was ahead. I only knew how to be in any social situation with a drink, or in my case, many drinks.
I felt sad. I felt a huge loss. Who was I without drinking?
Now, I am happy I am sober. It's not perfect. There are still times I wish I could have a drink. There are times I get strange at a dinner party, and feel sorry for myself. But not as often. In fact, there are many, many more times I feel good I was able to let go of the self-destructive path I was on.
Healing takes time. No matter what the situation; an operation, a loss, or stopping drinking, it takes time to recover. I hope to carry this lesson forward with me, as I know there will be other times I will need to heal.
Halloween is coming soon, and I thought I would share this photo I had my hubs take several years ago. This year I have a tutu I will wear to yoga on Halloween. Along with my ears.
My hubby and I had an agreement, that we would only buy Skittles for the kids, because that is the one candy I don't like. But when I went to get a Diet Coke from downstairs, I found a big bag of KitKats he was trying to hide!! Now I LOVE KitKats! So does he. So we shall see how many are left by Saturday night!
With Chocolate, On Day 419