"Jet Er Nok" ; I am Enough

Dear Readers,

"It's not the world that has changed, it's me that has changed." - Heard at a meeting

When I read all the sober bloggers, and think about my friends, family, and myself, I notice one of our underlying human themes is that we are not enough.

We cannot accept who are, always striving for more, wanting more, comparing ourselves, grasping.

I used to be so angry at myself for not being thin, for not being a better teacher, for not having more friends, for not being a better singer, for anything.

I used to not accept who I was.

There were times I hated myself.

It really is only since I have been in recovery for my drinking, going to AA, reading sober blogs, finding a good therapist, and finding a recovery group on Twitter, that I have slowly turned this around. I am learning about self-compassion. 

Recovery has allowed me to learn to be kind to myself. This is new to me. After all the hate and anger at myself and my body, I am learning to treat myself nicely. With love.

Recovery has allowed me to focus on what I have, not what I don't have.

Being grateful is one of the most important lessons I have learned to help me connect with my inner loving spirit.

Recovery has meant I realize I am part of the human race, and all of us suffer. 
Every human in the whole world has felt rejected, hurt, or have made bad choices.
When I forget that, I get focused only on me, my problems, and poor me.

I am learning my negative thoughts are not true. I can observe them, but not believe them.
Being kind to myself means I can be kind to other people. Forgiving myself means I can forgive others. 

I Love This Guy!

The world continues on, with good and bad things. People continue to hurt each other, and be kind to each other. Nothing has changed.
But I have. 

I do not hate myself anymore.

I am not perfect, but human.
I am enough.

With Loving Thoughts,
On Day 1,138,

Wendy