Monday, March 9, 2015

6 Months and 3 Days or 186 Days

Dear Readers,
This post finds me a little up and down, a little teary-eyed.
I might not be my perky self, but I'll try to suck it up!
(Words from my Loved One!)
I am AF now for 6 months.
This weekend I had a stronger thought of drinking. In fact, it was my old evil little liar voice telling me I could drink and no one would know.
HA! 
What a little liar that guy is!
The trigger was feeling left out on a face book post.
That is still an issue for me, even after all these years.
It stems from way back in childhood, with my speech, hearing, my eye, all factoring in.
I was never in the in-group and always wished I was.
I am working on this with my therapist, and I am so happy I have her.

So, now I'll switch to my perky self!
It turned spring overnight here!
Went from 8 degrees to 50.
It's lovely! No snow, no mittens!

What's good about being AF now?
Well, the mornings are still wonderful.
I love waking up sober.
I love being grateful for all I have.
I love having a Loved One who everyday tells me how proud he is!
I love helping other people in recovery.
I love knowing there is more out there besides drinking.
I love knowing I am driving sober, so I don't hurt anyone.
I love knowing I am stronger than I think.

There is nothing negative about not drinking.
Yes, you can live without drinking, and in fact, it is a beautiful way to live.
You don't need it to be funny.
You don't need it to relax.
You don't need it because you "earned it" after a hard day.
You don't need it because you fight with someone.
You don't need it at a party.
You don't need it.

I hope all of my friends in recovery stay strong today.
Hugs,
Wendy

12 comments:

  1. What a great list! And how cool of you to turn a little darkness into a lot of light.

    Hugs,

    SR

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    Replies
    1. Oh! I like that! Darkness to Light!!
      Thank you!

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  2. Hooray for you! And for 6 months! And for not drinking despite the weird pangs!

    I still get those reactions sometimes, when I feel left out of something and I think I should be well past that. But good for you for not drowning in it. And for all the good things you list, too.

    I really like the cheery you, but I do figure you have to be able to mope and complain on your own blog. So one more hooray here, for moping when moping is required!

    I hope things really do look up for you. xo

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    Replies
    1. Dear Thirsty,
      I liked cheery self too!
      In fact, I'm feeling much better today!
      XO

      Delete
  3. Hi Wendy
    sorry you are having a woopsy. Milestones tend to do that to you - weird eh?
    a lovely Post all the same, I hope you are more perky soon.
    Lisa
    ps. you are certainly in the "in crowd" now girl!!!!!

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    1. Lisa!
      You made me laugh!!
      I am in the in crowd!
      I'm in with other cool bloggers like you!
      XO

      Delete
  4. We are all proud of you everyday. Love the cheery Wendy and the sometimes not so cheery Wendy. Either way, you are loved!

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    Replies
    1. Lol!
      Thank you all!!
      I love you guys too!!

      Delete
  5. Facebook shows an unrealistic life. Everyone puts on their best self and we have to remember that and not compare ourselves to those expectations. I try not to look at Facebook very often.

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    1. Hi Jackie!!
      I know! It's true. I never post my down self on FB.
      I am trying to change my habits on that, but finding it hard!!
      Thank you!

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  6. You have done so well.
    I'm sorry it all seems a bit hard now.

    6 months is so amazing and I love that you have a loved one that tells you how proud he is.

    You help me every time you give advice, a comment or a virtual hug.

    I'm sending one your way now

    Hugs x Claire

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Claire!!
      I'm feeling much better today!!

      Delete