Last Saturday, in the middle of my yoga class, I had an intense craving.
I haven't had one of these for a long while, so it surprised me.
I couldn't dismiss it right away, it kept popping up during yoga!
It very specific, tied to a cute wine bar in a trendy shopping area, where I used to go drinking before I would shop.
On Saturday, I had something to return in that shopping area.
So it makes some sense that I had an urge, except I have been to this area many times with no urges.
I was also very tired and was sick, and I wonder if that had something to do with the craving.
I have learned to never hide these strong urges or cravings, even if I don't have them very often.
In my AA, a man with many years sober, told of having an intense craving himself.
That shows me they can pop up even after a long time sober.
The disconcerting thing about this urge is that I kept entertaining the thought for a little while.
It shows me once again, how powerful addiction is.
It hijacks my brain. It's tied to memories, tied to feelings, tied to people and places.
It is even tied to my body, being tired and sick.
I am so grateful I do not suffer from many strong cravings anymore.
But I also know I must never take my recovery for granted.
The craving went away by the end of class.
I told Mr. UT, and he and I went together to return my item.
Here are some coping strategies I have used when I have had urges, taken from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism:
I am sending a prayer of peace of mind for anyone who is suffering with cravings today.
With Much Love,
On Day 936