|Tonight by the Fire|
I have now been sober for 433 days, or 14 months and 7 days.
I love seeing the days add up! I think it gives me a sense of satisfaction.
A sense that, yes, I am living a life without drinking.
In fact, a good life, a better than before life!
(It also means I am that many days older, and THAT does not always make me happy!)
Last night I found myself a little bit stressed and slightly crabby, although hubs would probably say a little bit more than a little.
I have only one good eye.
My other eye sees some blurry shapes and colors.
My one good eye now has a cataract that has been growing and causing a great deal of problems for me.
Driving has been becoming harder, to the point that I can only go a few miles around by my house, even during the day.
It's very hard for me to read on the computer or see in anyplace with bright lights.
So I will be getting cataract surgery.
Now in my "bad" eye, I had cataract surgery to preserve the vision I do have.
But after that surgery, my retina fell off.
It was reattached, but I worry just a little bit.
Although complications are rare these days for cataract surgery, I do only have one seeing eye.
And bad things did happen to my other eye.
But I don't have a choice.
I will have to take this risk.
We are also helping my husband's 87 year old father move out of his apartment this weekend. He lives in another state, and it's tough. He has some dementia and short term memory loss. He has a safer place to live now, but it's has been stressful.
I wish I could say I am handling these life issues with grace and ease.
I am not. At least not all the time.
I get frustrated, angry, and overwhelmed.
I get worried.
And that is normal.
What brings me peace, is that I am able to go on in spite of problems.
I am able to talk out my feelings, write out my emotions, and change the ending to my story.
I could not do this while I was drinking.
When I was drinking, I would get frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, and then stay that way.
Which led to more drinking.
So last night I did some writing and I reminded myself that I wanted to be cheerful for my hubs this weekend. For his father. To support both of them.
I wanted to approach life problems with grace, with understanding that I can get scared, and yet, I can go on, and be happy.
And then, I found this quote:
“Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.”― Helen Keller