Life on Day 433

Tonight by the Fire
Dear Readers,
I have now been sober for 433 days, or 14 months and 7 days. 
I love seeing the days add up! I think it gives me a sense of satisfaction. 
A sense that, yes, I am living a life without drinking.
In fact, a good life, a better than before life!
(It also means I am that many days older, and THAT does not always make me happy!)

Last night I found myself a little bit stressed and slightly crabby, although hubs would probably say a little bit more than a little. 

I have only one good eye.
My other eye sees some blurry shapes and colors.
My one good eye now has a cataract that has been growing and causing a great deal of problems for me.
Driving has been becoming harder, to the point that I can only go a few miles around by my house, even during the day.
It's very hard for me to read on the computer or see in anyplace with bright lights.
So I will be getting cataract surgery.
Now in my "bad" eye, I had cataract surgery to preserve the vision I do have.
But after that surgery, my retina fell off.

It was reattached, but I worry just a little bit.
Although complications are rare these days for cataract surgery, I do only have one seeing eye.
And bad things did happen to my other eye.
But I don't have a choice. 
I will have to take this risk.

We are also helping my husband's 87 year old father move out of his apartment this weekend. He lives in another state, and it's tough. He has some dementia and short term memory loss. He has a safer place to live now, but it's has been stressful. 

I wish I could say I am handling these life issues with grace and ease.
I am not. At least not all the time.
I get frustrated, angry, and overwhelmed.
I get worried.
And that is normal. 
What brings me peace, is that I am able to go on in spite of problems. 
I am able to talk out my feelings, write out my emotions, and change the ending to my story.

I could not do this while I was drinking. 
When I was drinking, I would get frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, and then stay that way.
Which led to more drinking.

So last night I did some writing and I reminded myself that I wanted to be cheerful for my hubs this weekend. For his father. To support both of them.
I wanted to approach life problems with grace, with understanding that I can get scared, and yet, I can go on, and be happy.

And then, I found this quote:


“Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.”

― Helen Keller

With Love,
Wendy

Comments

  1. Oh, Wendy, I'm so sorry for the stress you're going through right now. Please remember I (and many others I'm sure) will be thinking of you in the coming days and weeks, and I'm praying your surgery and recovery will go smoothly. Sending love & hugs. xx

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  2. Hi Wendy,
    You seem to be on such a great curve - sending you positive energy and self belief and that calm confidence that everything will be ok.
    thanks,
    bren

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Bren!
      Everything will be okay!
      xo

      Delete
  3. Dear Wendy,

    I am sorry to hear that life has given you these heavy, heavy health issues to deal with :-(. I can very well understand that you are 'slightly crabby' due to worry and overwhelm. I am sending you a loooooong looooong warm hug, and you can cry too if you want to because I don't care if you sob all over my t-shirt.

    Also, I am very impressed with how you deal with this. I am not sure I could be so calm and brave. To let your emotions be and deal with them where you can. Sending more hugs, and wishes to the Universe for good surgery and recovery.

    xx, Feeling

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    Replies
    1. Dear Feeling,
      Thank you for letting me cry!
      I will wash your t-shirt!
      My surgery is Dec. 2, so I have a bit more time.
      xo

      Delete
  4. Aargh! Not the good eye!! Love the Helen Keller quote. Even through your own crap you found time to send me support with my crap. So are we crappy friends then? Haha Be sure and get some awesome take out while your working with your father-in-law. No One Hangry is the motto this weekend :)

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    Replies
    1. I love her stuff!
      We can be crappy friends!
      We are buying him some new clothes, too!
      xo

      Delete
  5. Hi Wendy, thinking about you - I'm also feeling a bit uneasy about a very recently diagnosed medical problem. For me, I think there could be positive and/or negative outcomes and it's all a bit unclear at the moment. I hope your surgery goes well- take care of yourself. And thankyou for that quote - just what I needed right now! Absolutely spot on! Love and hugs, waking up xxx

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    Replies
    1. Dear Waking Up,
      I am sorry to hear that!
      Medical issues are always scary.
      Hellen Keller was amazing!
      xo

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  6. that's a lovely quote. sending you huge hugs and wish I could drink hot chocolate by that fireside with you! Prim xx

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  7. What a powerful quote from such an inspirational woman. She reminds me of someone else I know...oh yeah...YOU.

    You ARE an inspiration Wendy. A beautiful gift to us all.

    Sherry

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    1. Sherry!
      You make me laugh!
      Thank you so much!
      xo

      Delete
  8. Hey Wendy,

    I know that you are perhaps not feeling the most uplifted, but just wanted to say I found this post incredibly uplifting, so thanks for sharing your strength, and I hope that it all gets easier.

    Love from London,

    Harry x

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    Replies
    1. Hi Harry!
      So glad you found me in Minnesota!
      I am feeling strong today!
      Thank you!
      xo

      Delete
  9. That's a great quote. Helen Keller was an amazing person.
    I try hard to remind myself that worrying is praying for what I don't want. To try to stay in the moment and let what is going to happen, happen. After all, it almost never turns out how we expect anyway.

    It's all hard, but it sounds like surgery is the best solution to your eyesight issues.

    We will all be sending you good vibes! Seeing is important!

    Sorry you have so much going on.

    Anne

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    Replies
    1. Oh Anne!
      That is a very good point about worrying!
      Thank you!
      xo

      Delete
  10. I love what you said....

    "You want to approach life's problems with grace! " That's something to write on my daily calendar so that I can remember!
    You are an inspiration to me....
    Hugs....Jen
    Today, I will approach my problems with grace..... Yep.

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  11. Don't you just love it when a quote appears just when you need it :) Congrats to you, you are an inspiration to me!

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  12. Dearest Wendy, congrats on your awesome collection of sober days. Deepest sincerest hugs for the challenges you are currently facing. Hon, I see the strength and grace you possess through your blog and through your feedback on my blog. Trust in that. Have you thought about Reiki healing, so beautiful, so relaxing and just for you. I wish you courage and peace on this journey. Love Gael.

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    Replies
    1. Gael, this made me cry!
      In a good way!
      Thank you.
      xo

      Delete
  13. Sorry to hear about all this. Life sometimes throws difficult moments, days, weeks at us. It shall pass. Eventually. You are so strong and so brave that I have no doubts you will conquer all of this. But for now, you are facing all of this sober. That alone will guide you and give you strength and hope. And grace! :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much!
      The more I accept life as an ebb and flow, the better off I am.
      xo

      Delete

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