The Life I am Making
|Our Evening Walk..Minneapolis|
I am slowly understanding the effects that drinking had on my life.
It kept me from participating in a full life.
It kept me trapped in my child-self, the one that wants what she wants right now.
It kept me trapped by keeping me inside, in the dark bars.
It kept me away from being close to my husband.
It kept me away from learning how to be an adult.
It has taken me awhile to appreciate all that I have learned.
I sometimes think I haven't grown fast enough in my recovery, but then I look back and realize I am making progress!
One of the greatest things I have learned is that life is what I make it.
If I chose a word of the year, it might be "action".
I can let inertia take over, and when I do that, I always find I get down.
I can't wait until I "feel" like doing something, I have to just do it.
I have to "show up" for things.
Which for me is easier said than done at times, especially on grey days.
I have found that outside accountability helps me.
That's one of the reasons I told so many people about my sobriety...the accountability.
I can't let fear stop me from living a fuller life.
I was so afraid to pick someplace to volunteer, afraid I would be tied there forever, or that somehow I would be making a "wrong" choice.
Once I faced my fears, and just asked to help, I am finding so much happiness meeting new people, learning new skills, and going out of my comfort zone.
(My volunteer job is working with a small non-profit foundation that helps people with opioid addictions. I am putting the link to their website here.)
|Our Favorite City Park|
In the past few weeks, I have:
- Been to a cabin with friends - Hosted a dinner party where nobody drank alcohol
- Hiked and walked with hubs
- Golfed with hubs and friends
- Been to meetings
- Seen friends at coffee shops and at my house
- Been to yoga
- Read several books
- Been to doctors, as I had a small kidney stone (not fun)
As I am retired, I count myself very lucky I have this time to give of myself as well as time for myself. But I also see that life goes by very fast. I can't take anything for granted anymore.
With a Cup of Coffee, On Day 749,
PS - Hubs will have his operation in two weeks.
We both have been calm while waiting, and just have been going on with our daily routines.