Can I Hear You Now?

Dear Readers,
I lost my hearing, slowly over time. For awhile, hearing aids helped, but when I was around 58, my hearing diminished to the point where they did not help anymore.
This was a struggle, not only with teaching, but hearing in any sort of group setting.
After I retired, I took a leap of faith and had a cochlear implant in my right ear.

Here is a very short YouTube video on how a cochlear implant works.

The post I wrote a year after my implant describes how I was dealing with all the loss and acceptance of a major change.
Something Lost, Something Gained

I can't hear speech without my implant on. I can hear a few sounds, like a thud, but I hear them only softly. 
(Which is why hubs and I have some interesting conversations when I don't wear it! LOL)

I can hear speech with it on, but in group situations, or through a speaker such as a phone, or a microphone, I miss a lot. 
Music has changed for me as well.
I have to say, this was the biggest loss I struggled with in going deaf and with the implant. If you listen here, you will understand how I hear music now.

But I have learned the beauty of being able to accept something I can't change, and the beauty of being grateful for all I have. I carry music in my soul, and this is something nothing can take away. 
I can have wonderful conversations with people.
I rely on closed captioning, and I am grateful television and movies have this service.
I also have a closed captioning phone, for important conversations.

In a month, I will be having a second cochlear implant, in my left ear.
This will hopefully help me feel more balanced in my hearing, and will help a bit with speech.

However, my left ear is the one that can still hear a few natural sounds, and unfortunately, that will be gone with this operation.
There are of course risks, such as vertigo, with this operation as well.
Which leaves me feeling anxious. 
Which is normal, but with hubs retiring and now another implant, I feel a lot of anxiety.

So, I am feeling a bit mixed up right now. 
Deep breathing, walking, and writing are all helping me.
I also think of all the people who deal with all sorts of suffering, and I know am not alone, and I wish them some comfort.

The fall of the year seems to bring out a more melancholy mood for many of us here in the North, so I wrote a simple poem.

Our leaves are turning,
Green to gold, 
The sun slouches behind the trees.

Our winds like to chase us,
Playing strong arm games.

We know our sleep is coming,
We sense it everywhere.

Our leaves are turning,
Red to brown,
I for one, will not despair.

All will be well.

Much Love,
On Day 1484,

Wendy