A Guest Post by Mr. Untipsy

Dear Readers,
I asked my Loved One to write a guest post this week.
(I got this idea from Lucy at A Hangover Free Life.)
I didn't tell him what to write, and this is written from his heart.

Living the Dry Life 

"I am Mr. Untipsy. Untipsy Teacher has asked me to write a guest post this week.  I’m a little concerned that I will not be able to offer any insights and not being a writer, I’m a bit intimidated but I’ll give it a go.

I have been married to Untipsy for 39 years. We’ve had some wonderful, fun years together.
But also during this time, I watched my wife chase after relief from the stresses of her teaching career and various health concerns in her life.  She often chose alcohol to relieve that stress and anxiety. At first, we would toast the end of the week with a bottle of champagne on a Friday night.  Then out to dinner on Saturday with more drinks and a bottle of wine.  These “stress relief” nights began to expand to include one or two nights during the week. There always seemed to be a group of friends heading to a bar for Happy Hour.  Soon these gatherings grew to three or four times each week.  Untipsy Teacher would often have too many drinks resulting in tearful calls for a ride home or worse, no call at all nor contact for hours until I heard the car pull into our driveway.

I really had no idea of how to deal with the situation.  I felt powerless to help. I tried to reason with her, I yelled at her, I told her to find help, but what I mostly did was worry.  I worried about her health. I worried about her safety and the safety of others on the road.  I worried about our future together.  I worried about possible arrests and jail time for her or lawsuits against us from others.  The hardest part was not knowing what to say or do to help. Not knowing on the drive home from work if I would find her drunk at home or still out at some bar. The point is, a person’s drinking problem goes far beyond him or her. The drinking has a ripple effect touching everyone surrounding that person.  What I found was that nothing I said or did would work until she was ready to seek help and commit to the work required to quit.

A year ago she made that commitment to quit drinking and has worked incredibly hard to maintain her sobriety ever since.  I offered whatever help I could, as little as it was. I encouraged her to seek help wherever it was offered. I quit drinking right along with her, though I must admit it wasn’t hard for me.  I often preferred a coke to a beer anyway.  I tried to remind her that life goes on without drinking.  In fact, it goes on in a much better way.  We can still go out for dinner or dancing, although I hate dancing.  Now we challenge bartenders to come up with decent non-alcoholic drinks. I found that our dinner bills are much less expensive than they used to be since we’ve cut out $100 bottles of wine and $15 martinis.  Not drinking has improved our married life and cut down the number of senseless arguments we used to have. We still find bumps in the road but at least we aren’t making them craters.


Untipsy Teacher recently celebrated a year of sobriety. I am also celebrating her accomplishment this past year right alongside of her. Each day I marvel at how hard she is working at not drinking.  Each day I feel such pride and gratitude at her accomplishments and each day I’m so grateful that I have my wife back.  I want to thank all of you who have reached out with words of encouragement and offers of help. I wish the same for all of you."

With Love On Day 382

Comments

  1. Loved reading this!! Thank you so much, Mr. Wendy:)

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  2. Looove it! How brave to put your thoughts and words out there. What I gained from this is that you didn't judge her. What I imagine my family thinks about me isn't pity or shame or disgust, it is love and helplessness. The phrase - chasing the relief- that was spot on. Lori

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    Replies
    1. It was hard for me to read, but all he wants is for me to be happy!
      xo
      Wendy

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  3. Oh. Goosebumps big time. So sweet and a great idea!!!!
    Hugs
    Lisa

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  4. Dear Mr Untipsy,
    What a beautiful but heartwrenching post, reading about the powerlesness made me cry. Thank you for supporting Wendy. Thank you for sharing. :-)
    xx, Feeling

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    Replies
    1. He says, "Thank you!". It was a reminder to me what he was thinking and feeling.
      xo
      Wendy

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  5. eh firstly, how can you be married 39 years? you look about 40, so unless you got married at 1 you're looking pretty hot! Secondly that is a lovely, lovely post. What a gorgeous man you have to support you. Well done you and well done Mr. Untipsy teacher. For a non writer, you write brilliantly! xMtts.

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    Replies
    1. I read him your comment and he says, "Thank you!".
      He loves me a bunch!
      xo
      Wendy

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  6. Oh Wendy this is lovely :) Oh to be a person who preferred a coke to a beer huh? Proud of you both xx

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  7. Dude...you're a keeper. What an excellent post.

    Sherry

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    Replies
    1. He was excited to hear all the comments, Sherry!
      He might have to start his own blog!!
      xo
      Wendy

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  9. that is really touching. You are blessed to have a wonderful husband, thanks for sharing. i really enjoyed seeing the other perspective xx

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    Replies
    1. I think it is important to hear the perspective of our loved ones.
      It reminds me how it's not all about me!
      xo
      Wendy

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  10. An excellent, honest post. Having a wonderful, supportive husband is the best!

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  11. This made me cry. What an honest and heartfelt post. And a reminder that yes, our drinking does go beyond us.
    He truly loves you.
    What a gift, to have a second chance at living together.
    Beautiful.

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    1. Thank you, Anne.
      It was very hard for him the last few years of my drinking.
      Now I see it. But during that time I couldn't .
      xo

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  12. Well Mr Un tipsy, seems there is a writer lurking within. Well written, well said and very raw truth. And some real insights in there to. Wendy is fortunate to have your strength by her side, great boost to her own obvious strength.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for your really nice comment, Breezi!
      He is a real source of strength!
      He says, "Thank you!"
      xo

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  13. Thank You Mr. Untipsy, for your post and your perspective. Wendy is a remarkable lady! I put my husband thru a lot of grief when I was drinking, we're both happier now! Wow 39 years! xx

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    1. Hi Lori,
      I read him your comment!
      He says, "Yes she is! "
      xo

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  14. What a great post Mr UnTipsy. Congrats to you both!

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    Replies
    1. Dear Wine Bitch,
      Thank you from both of us!
      xo

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  15. Great and inspiring post. Please let you husband know that you inspire a lot of people around the web. And so does he with his post. Way to go Mr and Mrs Untipsy!

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    Replies
    1. Dear Time,
      So happy to hear from you!
      Thank you for your kind words!
      xo

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  16. This was bittersweet to read, sweet because clearly your husband is! bitter because it made me realise what I pout my hubbs through. Thankyou for reminding me that it was never really all about "me"

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for commenting, Millie.
      It is hard to see how hard it is for our loved ones when we are active in our drinking.
      Hugs!
      xo

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  17. As a husband, I absolutely love this post. I'm glad I found your blog.

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    Replies
    1. Hi New Guy!
      I love my husband!
      I'm glad I found your blog, too!
      xo
      Wendy

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