Blue Skies on 16 Months!

Blue Sky on our Hike

Dear Readers,
Today I have been sober for 16 months!
Yay! 
The sky is so blue today!
The prettiest blue ever!
I LOVE blue!
(Blue is my favorite color, in case you didn't guess!)

Hubs and I went for a walk Saturday, in a park close to our house. There is a creek that flows even in winter. It has many little falls, and they make delicious sounds. I stand in awe of nature. I love the gnarly oak trees, the snow, the sun, and the clouds. I love them all.

Nine Mile Creek, On Our Hike

They connect me to life.

We walked along the creek and then took the high path, which goes above the park, and gives us another view of the world. It was there I saw a snow eagle! 

Today I am giving thanks to my yoga teacher, my life coach, a Ceremoni.
She was the one of the first people I reached out to when I wanted to finally get sober. She put me firmly on the path of starting my sobriety, helping me work through my loss of hearing, retirement, and all my other issues.
(Of which there are many! So she'll have a job for life!)

She has been one of my living angels.
I have been struggling with retirement, which might seem odd to some people, but has been hard for me, almost harder than getting sober. 
As I lament over things I "should" be doing, that I should be busier, or doing something more,  and that I can't seem to find my way, she told me this:

I have two types of needs and wants; quiet and connections. 
My quiet times include writing, alone, home, stillness, tv, reading books, and the internet.
My connection needs include social times, group gatherings, yoga, walks in nature, photos of nature, shopping, sober blogs.

I need and want both.
I can stop the war between the needs.

She is right.
I do need both. Too much quiet time can sometimes be connected to boredom, loneliness, sadness, and depression. Too much social time can sometimes make me anxious, or lonely when I can't hear.

My Snow Eagle

I used to think I was such a social person, and I am.
But as a child, I was also happy to be reading, or playing by myself.

I know not both of these needs will be balanced every day, and in retirement I find myself needing a few more social times. However, I have been isolating myself a little bit this fall and winter. It's not just the snow and cold, because I am used to that.
I know that in order for me to make more connections, I need some better habits and some courage. I need to give myself a gentle push on some days.

But today, right now, as the sun is now gone, and dusk is arriving, and I am STILL in my pj's, I am content.
(Although hubs is coming soon and we are going for a walk, and so I'd better get into action!)

With Love and Much Gratitude,
Wendy
On Day 457