Friday, January 22, 2016

Continued Growth

Winter Walking!
Dear Readers,
I believe with all my heart, that a person in recovery must keep growing mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically, in order to be happily sober.

Sometimes in reading and thinking about the many aspects of recovery, I can get a little self-absorbed. When Mr. UnTipsy gets home, he gets to hear about all I have learned reading your blogs, books, and what I learned at my meetings! (Lucky him!)

But without growth in all areas of our lives, we just won't learn what made us drink, and how we can make life better for us and our loved ones. And we will stay stuck in a story of unhappiness. 

Each day, life gives me some tests.
When I am sick, life asks me to be patient.
When I don't do things I need to, life asks me to be responsible.
When I am scared, life asks me to trust.
When I am lonely, life asks me to reach out to someone. 
When I am tired from sitting, life asks me to move.

Being patient when I am sick, is very hard for me. I get sick often, and it isolates me. 
And yet, I am learning that I can be alone and not lonely. I am learning that maybe I can't go to yoga for several weeks, but I can walk on my treadmill. This too will pass.

Being responsible is another area that can be hard for me, especially in terms of self-care. I put off calling the doctors, getting a massage or a pedicure. I put off running errands. I had no problems being responsible when it came to teaching. But now, I often don't do things that would make me feel better, or tasks that I need to.

Trusting God, or in the order of things, would help me when I get scared. I often think I will always be sick, always have this problem or that, and I get anxious about many things. I am still learning to be trusting, that somehow things will work out. They always do.

Now that I am retired, it is harder to build connections with people. So I can get lonely, or feel lonely. My family doesn't live close to me. But life asks me to reach out to people, first. It asks me to call someone, text someone, send an e-mail. This never fails to make me feel better!

Life asks me to move. Sitting around reading is nice, but my heart, body, mind and soul is happier when I walk. Walking with Mr. UnTipsy is a way we connect with each other, and we try to do that several times a week. Walking by myself sometimes seems lonely, but I am being asked to do just that. It is the connection with nature that I seek.

All of this must be done with self-compassion. I will not continue to make growth if I am angry at myself all of the time. I am human. I can't be perfect. I am working on being gentle with myself.

This week I was sick, but I made commitments to meet friends and kept them.
I found out I didn't need a lot of energy to get dressed and go out for a couple of hours. I didn't worry about what I wore. I didn't worry about anything but enjoying my friends' company.
Looking back, I didn't even think about drinking or not drinking. 
I just don't drink, so it didn't enter my thoughts.

It is my responsibility to take care of my life. 
This is very hard to do at times, but if I don't, who will? 
And if not now, when? 


With Love,
Wendy 
On Day 475

28 comments:

  1. Sorry you've been sick this week, hope you're feeling better ;). I've had a "challenging" week, the type that used to send me right to a bottle of bourbon, but I've found myself saying "it's going to be okay". It's all part of the sober learning process! xx

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    2. Lori,
      I am sorry you had a challenging week. Hold on to your good thoughts.
      I'll send some your way, too!
      xo

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  2. I learn so much from you Wendy - thank you :) xx

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    1. Thank you, Lucy!
      I sure learn a bunch of cool stuff from you!
      xo

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  3. Woohoo winter wendy@ u are so cool. Awesome post.
    Love from Lisa

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  4. Hi, Wendy! I hope you're feeling better now:) I hate being sick, it makes me angry too! haha! I like your list and your commitment to growth:)

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    1. Thanks Betty!
      I do have fun while I am growing!
      Ha.
      I just write serious stuff!
      xo

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  5. Hope you are feeling better, Wendy! It's funny, that thing about realizing that if you just put one foot in front of the other in the direction of something positive (meeting friends; getting outside), it snowballs into something good/you feel better. I often have a hard time getting that first foot step done, though. Your post is inspirational :).

    Hugs,

    SR

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    1. Dear SR,
      It's a lesson I hope I can learn soon.
      I think it's a mind set for me. I can talk myself out of something so fast, thinking it's too hard.
      So good to hear from you!
      xo

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  6. Your posts are becoming increasingly motivational and inspirational. They cheer me up and show me a beautiful life without booze in it.
    I love walking. That's all I do for exercise nowadays. It gives me a lot of energy. Love the picture. You look amazing even all covered up in a heavy coat. :)

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    1. Dear TATB,
      Walking is the one sure thing that I can do!
      I never in a million years thought I could live without drinking.
      How wrong I was!
      xo

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  7. You're an inspiration to us all lovely lady!

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  8. There's that phrase in the section of the Big Book that says "... intuitively handle situations that used to baffle us..." In my early days I heard/read that and thought "Yeah right. Like that'll ever happen!". But it does you look back over something and think well I dealt with it and was ok about it all - oh and drinking about it or my feelings at the time wasn't even a fleeting thought in my head. Oh yes I therefore intuitively handled that situation...

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    1. Hi Graham!
      So true!
      And for me it also means not to make things harder than they need to be!
      xo

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  9. Hope you're feeling better for this week ahead Wendy - have some soup, lots of water, rest and sleep, the best cure! xo :)

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  10. It can be so hard to be pushy with ourselves, to know when to be firm and when to ease up. I'm learning about this now too. Thanks for this :) Hope you're enjoying the snowy walks xoxo

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  11. Just seen this Wendy, and it's a lovely post, just what I needed to read today, down here in my big old grump. I hope you're feeling better now. I love the photo, you look so happy! Red xx

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    1. Dear Red,
      Well, I know about being grumpy!
      I am feeling a little better now! Thank you!
      I like being happy, and today I am!
      xo

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  12. Brilliant post Wendy, such simple honest truths well said. Tough lesson to learn I think - that we are responsible for ourselves - but what a liberating one all the same. Blessings. Love Gael

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    1. Hi Gael,
      This is part of me learning to grow up a little more!
      xo

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  13. Hello Wendy. Your writing really inspires me. I am back at the start, trying to crawl my way back out. Annie x

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    1. Hi Annie!
      Thank you. Today I wish you some peace.
      Once you stop the fight in your mind, being sober is beautiful.
      xo

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  14. hey wendy - been a little crazy this past week but i am back if you wanted to come see me again ha... xo

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