True Happiness

Dear Readers,
Yesterday, I experienced a moment of pure joy.
And in that moment the thought came to me that I am happily recovering from drinking.
I love it when I have this deep down feeling of contentment and joy.
It is a gift.
And when I experience it, I try to keep the feeling very close to my heart.

I love to have fun.
When I was drinking, I was looking for fun and excitement.
I wanted to be invited to all the parties. (As long as there was wine.)
I wanted to go anywhere where there was alcohol because that was going to be fun.
Soon, I needed a higher amount of fun, and drinking more became one way I was trying to meet this need.

But, I am learning that although I need fun to be happy, fun is not happiness.
I need some fun in my life to keep me mentally healthy, like going to a ball game, or to a movie.
But these fun things alone do not make me happy.

I am happiest when I am living my life based on my values.
If I value my husband, then I meet him with a smile on my face when he gets home. 
If I value my friends and family, I call them, listen to them, and help them with problems.
If I value my house, I clean it.
If I value helping other people in recovery, I go to meetings, and I give support to fellow bloggers.

When I do these things?
I am happy.
I think I always confused fun with happiness.

Alcohol is a liar. It promised I would have so much fun, and instead delivered pain and sadness.
Drinking took away my happiness. 
I was not living true to many of my values when I was drinking.

But now, recovery is bringing me a real sense of happiness.
And fun!

On 20 Months and 1 day
Wendy