Friday, March 25, 2016

Checking In on Day 568!

Dear Readers,
I am leaving on vacation tomorrow, and I have not started packing yet!
I hate packing.
I am awful at it. Hubs bought me a huge suitcase one time, and he is sorry he did!
I pack everything, and yet when I get to my destination, and have nothing to wear!
Sedona Arizona

We had snow yesterday here in Minneapolis, and now we are going to Arizona where the weather is sunny and warm!
What a treat!

My back is still bothering me, but we are taking our golf clubs.
I can always drive the golf cart!! That's my favorite thing about golf, anyway!

I will get to see my friend and hug my God dog!
Hubs is getting me a massage, and we will go out to eat at some beautiful restaurants.

So toodle-oo, and off I go!


I will try to check in on some blogs if I can, but I will only have my phone.
I wish you a wonderful sober week, and if you celebrate, Happy Easter!

With Love,
Wendy

PS - The photos are from Sedona, a city in Arizona, where we will be hiking! I took these several years ago.
The Beauty of the Red Rocks!




Wednesday, March 16, 2016

How to Vacation Sober and Have Fun!

Dear Readers,
Hubs and I will be going on a vacation soon, to Arizona, where the sun is shining and warm!
The first time I went on a sober vacation was several years ago, during one of my first attempts to stop drinking.
I pouted for almost the whole time.
At least I pouted all through any dinner we had, even though my husband didn't drink to support me.
I felt very sorry for myself. 
This, of course, wasn't all that fun for hubs or me.
I simply couldn't imagine how I could be sober and still have a good time.
What would we do at the pool?
What would we do after a hike?
What would we drink while golfing?
How could we have dinner and not drink?

This time around, I have been sober much longer.
I am much more comfortable with my sobriety.
And this is what I know will happen on this vacation...

I will be ready to go in morning! (Well,my morning starts at 9 am!)
I won't wake up hungover and have headaches.
I know I'll have fun between the sheets! *wink*
I know having a sweet treat and coffee at the end of dinner is very satisfying.
I know I will be focused on what I am doing, not focused on finding a drink.
I know I will have fun dancing sober.
I know driving a golf cart is fun sober! It's just fun! Not to mention I won't crash it!
I know hiking in the beautiful country is fun sober.

I do not ever want to wreck another vacation by feeling sorry for myself.
The sun, reading, golfing, hiking, a massage, dancing and beautiful dinners outside will be relaxing all on their own. No drinking needed.

With A Suitcase or Two,
On Day 559,
Wendy

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Another Fine Guest Post by Mr. UnTipsy! On 18 Months

UnTipsy Teacher has asked me to write another guest post. So here goes.

Untipsy Teacher has been sober for over eighteen months now, and I couldn’t be more proud of her.  It is easy to accept these changes over eighteen months without really seeing them; they grow gradually day to day and are almost taken for granted.  That’s a trap.

I need to stop from time to time and take a look at how far we’ve come and appreciate the accomplishments achieved.  Look at how our lives have changed.

All of you married and previously married folks know that being married isn’t exactly a walk in the park. It takes work, but it has become a whole lot easier since we stopped drinking.  I don’t get mad at her, yell at her for drinking, getting drunk.  She doesn’t yell back about going out for drinks and having fun. Now our worst arguments are nothing compared to the past.  We still disagree about important things like the need to go dancing.  I’m of the belief that I was not meant to dance or I wouldn’t have been born with two left feet. Besides, no one wants to see an old guy on the dance floor.  We compromise and go dancing.  I’ve learned that’s called “compromise”, when the husband does want the wife wants.  Our disagreements are just disagreements now, they aren’t alcohol fueled battles.

Going out to dinner has become easier over the past eighteen months as well.  There isn’t the awkward moment waiting to see if she orders a drink (drinks) or not.  Now we just don’t.  We’ve even brought along our own bottle of sparkling non-alcoholic cider to restaurants.  No server has batted an eye over this or even charged us a corking fee.  A lot of restaurants are now listing non-alcoholic drinks on the menu and bar tenders like the challenge of coming up with non-booze based cocktails. UnTipsy makes sure the drinks are served in a “pretty” glass. No water tumbler for her. In other words, we don’t see going out to eat as a test anymore, we just enjoy it.  That doesn’t mean it’s easy for UnTipsy but it is becoming more normal.  I also like the fact that our bar bill has gone on a starvation diet compared to the past.

When I look at what we as a couple have gained I am truly grateful.  We have started going for evening walks again.  This gives us a chance to catch up on what happened during our day.  Even though I’ve been accused of not being communicative enough, UnTipsy generally can carry the conversational load on her own with ease.  We’re planning another vacation trip.  Planning for the future.  We’ve gone to our first NBA game in fifteen years.  She is connecting with friends, exercising. We’re doing stuff, not just sitting in a bar.

There are so many improvements in our day to day lives.  I want to make sure I really see them and know they are there.  That is something I recommend to all of you.  Enjoy your day to day accomplishments.  Revel in the little things, they will add up.

So when I look at how far UnTipsy has come in the past eighteen months I really am proud and grateful.  I think I’ll go tell her.

With Much Love,
On Day 551,
Mr. and Mrs. Wendy

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Sober is Better!

Waiting For Spring!
Dear Readers,
Sober is better.
It just is.
Every night I lay down and haven't had a drink, means it was a good day.
My happy times are happy, my sad times are sad, my mad times are mad. Real feelings in a real life.

I go to AA meetings because of what I hear and learn, as well as what I share.
I hear the pain from the newcomers, or people who relapse, and the contentment and happiness from the long-timers. I don't hear that anyone has a perfect life sober, but that now they HAVE a life.
And they have hope, and give hope to others.

People of all ages with different addictions share how they are trying to deal with life.
They are raising children, helping aging parents, going to college.
These last few meetings were particularly moving, because I realized once again, that I am one drink away from going back to a painful past, that I no longer want to have.

I also heard from one man who has been sober for a year, and said, it was the best year of his life. He is so happy! 
When I share, I share about the topic, or about what's on my mind. Mostly I share delight. Because I want people to catch some of the delight that is slowly and surely slipping into my days. 

Life will always be raw. 
It is full of love and loss.
It is both painful and joyful. 
I think I always thought it had to be one or the other. 

These last weeks, I have met friends for coffee and laughed.
I have met friends for dinner with hubs, and talked about life, politics, and laughed.
I have argued with hubs, and kissed and made up.
Real feelings in a real life.

All too often I am waiting or wishing for something, when it is already here.
I am so very grateful to all of you who open up your life to me, and share your wisdom, pain and hope.

With Love,
Wendy
On Day 545 (I hope, but I should ask Belle! HA!)

PS - My back is still sore and hurts, but I finally called the doctor so I can go to physical therapy.

PSS - Here is a pie I made for hubs a month ago, and I think he wants another one soon!
Upside Down Apple Pie is Yummy!