Saturday, April 1, 2017

Body Anger, Body Acceptance

Dear Readers,
Last week I was angry at my body.
I was angry it gets sick so much. 
I was angry it hurts a lot.
I was angry it stopped hearing.
I was angry it can't do yoga everyday.
I was angry I can only see out of one eye.
I was angry at my dry eyes, that I can't drive far on many days.
I was angry at it for all the past surgeries I had to have, for all the diseases I have had.

I am on my thin side these days, but I have been very heavy in my past.
In fact, and this is hard for me to admit, I used to hit my body because I hated it for being heavy.

I was expressing this anger to a friend, and she stopped me.
Here is when I accept my body. I can dance, I can hear the beat of the music.
She reminded me of all the things my body can do.
I can walk with my feet.
I can do yoga several times a week.
I can type.
I can see with my eye.
My brain can hear with my implant.
I can hug with my arms.
I can make the bed.
I can eat.

I can move.
I can love.
I can make love.

Since when did I think life is easy, that I will never have pain?
Why am I comparing my body to other people's bodies?
Why am I asking so much from my body, that it be perfect?

As I was searching on-line about being sick and still loving your body, I ran across this article, that has some wonderful messages in it...

"This self-criticism is not only painful but also tremendously wrong. My body’s job isn’t to meet anyone’s expectations — not even my own, really. Its job is to give my soul a way to live on this earth. My soul is here, and it likes the world, and that’s success. My body is a success. My body is successful."

"The body also provides a basic link to the deeply physical nature of life. There’s a reason humans are not bodiless souls floating around (metaphorically) in a purely cerebral existence. We are intrinsically physical creatures, designed for lives full of physical joys and adventures and sensations that can only be experienced through the body. We have eyes to see, ears to hear, tongues to taste, and skin to feel the difference between silk and sandpaper and a summer breeze."

Yesterday in yoga, I kept repeating to myself, "Thank you, body."
It really helped me feel stronger, moving slowly towards acceptance.

My body works so hard.
Today, I say, "Thank you, body. Thank you for helping me type this post. Thank you for healing me from my addiction. Thank you for helping me live."

With So Much Love,
On Day 939,
Wendy

25 comments:

  1. Dear Wendy,
    Thank you for your beautiful post. I was feeling bad about my body today too and this puts everything into perspective. Yes. A woman who loves herself, would love herself.
    Hugs and love,
    xx, Feeling

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    Replies
    1. It's also hard for me to accept the changes of my body getting older.
      But, I just don't want to live hating a part of myself anymore.
      So, I too will say, "A woman who loves herself will be kind to her body."
      Thank you, Feeling
      xo

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    2. <3 <3 <3 A woman who loves herself will be kind to her body. Yes! :-) And again, thank you for the reminder.
      xx, Feeling

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  2. You are looking after yourself and your body is in the best shape it can be. Things could always be better, and they could always be worse. You and your friend are right, there is so much you can do, so much. xx

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    Replies
    1. Yes, and every body is different.
      I tend to compare myself to other people, and then I get discontent.
      Today hubs and I went for a walk, and I was very happy to be walking, and soaking up the sunshine.
      I am grateful for all the doctors and surgeons who have helped my body, too!
      Thank you, PDTG!
      I hope you are well today.
      xo

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  3. Once again, how did you know what I needed today????? I have bad body dysmorphia! I am going to try your mantra and just say "Thank you body." Wonderful insight Wendy! xo

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Sober at 53.
      I hope it brings you some peace.
      xo

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  4. Wendy, what an aptly timed post. One I so easily relate to, feeling bad about my body. The biggest thing I can take away from this post is also the simplest...thank you body.

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    1. I have to ask myself, how does being angry at my body make anything better.
      Like drinking, it doesn't.
      xo

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  5. Beautiful post Wendy. The way we talk to ourselves and how we talk about our bodies matters so much. xxxx

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    1. It really does.
      I realize how much negative self-talk I do at times.
      That makes things ever so much harder.
      Thank you, Hurrah.
      xo

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  6. A beautiful post.
    I have hated my body my whole life. I remember holding my tummy in at age 11/12. I was so thin but I had even skinnier friends so felt fat. I felt if I could just look perfect, I would be more lovable. I have carried 5 children and apart from a few aches and pains my body has done such an amazing job and yet it's taken me until nearly 40 to truly appreciate it. Of course, I still have bad days where I can only see my faults but I am far kinder on myself these days. After witnessing my late brother lie in a hospital bed, in a vegetative state for a whole year, unable to scratch his nose, or go to the toilet. See his fiancee sat at his side, unable to climb in the bed next to him and cuddle him. It really brought home how needlessly harsh I was on my own life vessel.
    I don't judge anyone else on their body shape. I am attracted to people who love and accept themselves so it's baffled me throughout my life why I feel like a zit or a belly fold makes me unworthy.
    Thanks for this.

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    1. Thank you for your comment, Kelly.
      I am sorry to hear about your brother.
      The pressure of having a perfect body or an always healthy body is so very strong.
      I haven't analyzed it, but certainly the media has not helped.
      5 children is amazing!
      My sister had 6!
      xo
      Wendy

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  7. "Its job is to give my soul a way to live on this earth. My soul is here, and it likes the world, and that’s success. My body is a success. My body is successful." I fully believe this, and our souls roll along on their journey by having bodies. Just the fact of it is a miracle. I'm glad you're in your beautiful body on planet Earth, Wendy!!

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    1. Thank you, Adrian!
      This helps me when I am sick, as I realize that even if I can't get outside to exercise, I can write, or read blogs and offer support.
      xo

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  8. Hi Wendy

    Such a great post and a cool shot of you two!

    I have a "I don't like my personality" disorder. It is a constant battle to try and love myself.
    It gets to the point where I go backwards and start to compare myself to ridiculous comparisons on the internet.
    I have a long way to go but my daughter said something really cool today "mum, it's like if you had cancer and were drinking. Stopping drinking does not make the cancer go away - you still have to deal with it, but without the alcohol".

    So smart she is and how very lucky I am not to have something like cancer when others have so many health problems and mine is just a mental health issue.

    Michelle xx

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    1. Kids sometimes can see what we can't!
      So true...I have gotten some of my best wisdom from a Hellen Keller.
      I wrote a post about her a long time ago, I will have to look it up.
      Thank you, Michelle!
      xo

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  9. I love this post! Thank you, body. Perfect.

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    1. Thank you, Susanne.
      Today, as my body is continuing to be sick, I just treated it VERY kindly.
      Lots of love.
      And that love got me out for a short walk, and coffee with a friend.
      xo

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  10. I truly believe that when we continue to tell ourselves positive thing that they eventually sink in.
    Our heart knows what we need. Our mind gets in the way.

    Hug.

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    1. I do too, Anne.
      I will be positive today!
      xo

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  11. Wonderful post. Thank you so much for sharing. 'You Can Heal Your Life' and 'Heal Your Body' by Louise Hay were two books that really helped me come to terms with the relationship I have with my body, mind and health. Since all three are interconnected I began to realise that the thoughts I held about my body were actually causing my ill health. Louise Hay has definitely helped on my journey to sobriety too xx

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    1. Thank you!
      I have read her books, but it was a long time ago.
      Time to look them up again.
      Have a good day!
      xo

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