Body Anger, Body Acceptance

Dear Readers,
Last week I was angry at my body.
I was angry it gets sick so much. 
I was angry it hurts a lot.
I was angry it stopped hearing.
I was angry it can't do yoga everyday.
I was angry I can only see out of one eye.
I was angry at my dry eyes, that I can't drive far on many days.
I was angry at it for all the past surgeries I had to have, for all the diseases I have had.

I am on my thin side these days, but I have been very heavy in my past.
In fact, and this is hard for me to admit, I used to hit my body because I hated it for being heavy.

I was expressing this anger to a friend, and she stopped me.

I can dance, I can hear the beat of the music.

She reminded me of all the things my body can do.
I can walk with my feet.
I can do yoga several times a week.
I can type.
I can see with my eye.
My brain can hear with my implant.
I can hug with my arms.
I can make the bed.
I can eat.

I can move.
I can love.
I can make love.

Since when did I think life is easy, that I will never have pain?
Why am I comparing my body to other people's bodies?
Why am I asking so much from my body, that it be perfect?

As I was searching on-line about being sick and still loving your body, I ran across this article, that has some wonderful messages in it...

"This self-criticism is not only painful but also tremendously wrong. My body’s job isn’t to meet anyone’s expectations — not even my own, really. Its job is to give my soul a way to live on this earth. My soul is here, and it likes the world, and that’s success. My body is a success. My body is successful."

"The body also provides a basic link to the deeply physical nature of life. There’s a reason humans are not bodiless souls floating around (metaphorically) in a purely cerebral existence. We are intrinsically physical creatures, designed for lives full of physical joys and adventures and sensations that can only be experienced through the body. We have eyes to see, ears to hear, tongues to taste, and skin to feel the difference between silk and sandpaper and a summer breeze."

Yesterday in yoga, I kept repeating to myself, "Thank you, body."

It really helped me feel stronger, moving slowly towards acceptance.

My body works so hard.

Today, I say, "Thank you, body. Thank you for helping me type this post. Thank you for healing me from my addiction. Thank you for helping me live."

With So Much Love,

On Day 939,

Wendy