Monday, April 10, 2017

Gifts of Sobriety On 31 Months

New Saw, Happy Guy!
Dear Readers,
Mr. UT has been busy working on a house project. 
I am so grateful to be married to a guy who cooks, cleans, builds, fixes, mows, and makes coffee every morning. 
(He is banned from doing laundry, however!)
Not sure how I got so lucky!

On April 4th, I was 31 months sober.
I continue to be mindful of the gifts that being sober brings.

This is not passive, but an active awareness of all of the good things being sober is bringing to my life.
I have to be open to receiving these gifts, and I have to be active in my self-growth to pass along gifts to others.
These gifts are endless, and they continue to bless me each day.

The gift of being grateful, in all areas of my life, has opened up to me since I have been sober.
I didn't have this gift before, never knew it really existed.
To be able to find a reason to be thankful in almost any situation, is changing my life.
I have the choice of being resentful, or being grateful. 
When I choose resentment, or self-pity I am choosing to be unhappy.
When I choose to be grateful, I am choosing contentment.

The gift of freedom, means I can live my life in an open, loving way.
It means I have peace of mind.
I can open my eyes each morning, and I know I didn't hurt anyone because of my drinking.
It means I no longer hide who I am.
It means I can share myself fully.

I am learning to accept the gift of living life as it is, not as I want it to be.
Drinking made me want everything to be different, and filled me with resentments, anger, and envy.
Acceptance brings me peace.
I can let my life flow and not fight it at every turn. It's exhausting to be fighting life.
I am learning to accept that other people's lives are theirs, not mine to try to control.

Life has problems, and now I have the gift of learning how to work with these problems rather than over-reacting to them, running away from them, or numbing myself.
I still tend to over-react at first, but then quickly settle into an acceptance or problem-solving mode. I am able to help those around me by having this gift. 

I talk a lot about breathing, and I credit my yoga practice for opening this gift to me.
Breathing helps calm me.
I breathe through problems, both mental and physical ones.
When I there is a body part hurting, breathing into that body part relaxes it, and helps it heal.
When I am struggling mentally, if I breathe into the feelings, it relaxes the tight hold that feeling has on me.
Breathing helps me relax into my daily life.
I breathe in love and joy, breath out anger and resentments.

These are only a few of my gifts.
Big gifts, small gifts, are there for me if I choose.
Today I choose them.

With The Gift of Love,
On Day 948,
Wendy

22 comments:

  1. Hi Wendy! You,ve been busy (blogging) and I've been away, si I had a bit of catching up to do!

    Your insights are always so wise. And universal. It seems like youve done a lot of hard work over the past 30-some months...and it's paid off with a lot of self-awareness. And your sharing of those lessons is helpful to me....and I know to others.

    Thank you, as always for being so generous and honest!

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    1. Hi Northwoman!
      I hope you had fun!
      I am trying to write a little more, even if I don't have a topic.
      Thank you so much for reading and for your lovely comments!
      xo

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  2. He looks very happy:) My hubs likes fixing things too and all things gadget/power tools.
    I'm learning to breathe more. Since I stopped smoking it's really enjoyable to do breath work.xxx

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    1. We have saved lots of money because hubs is handy!
      xo

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  3. 31 months! Wow. What you wrote is true about being grateful and chiding to be content. I need to practice this more. I tend to focus on what I don't like about my life and over look what I do like. Thanks for reminding me to look on the bright side. You are very lucky to have a husband who cooks and makes coffee!!!! X

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    1. I am lucky, and I am more grateful for him now that I am sober.
      I accept I'll have hard times, but if I can look at things from both perspectives, positive and negative, I have a better balance.
      Otherwise, I get stuck in the "woe is me" mindset.
      xo

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  4. Thank you for the inspiration, Wendy. Gratitude is not my strong suit. I tend to look for what's missing in a situation or think I am missing out on something else. But TODAY I will be grateful because I know it will bring me all of the wisdom you have gained yourself. ; )
    xoxo

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    1. I can't believe how powerful gratitude is.
      I sometimes go through all the things I am grateful for in the shower.
      I try to be really specific.
      It truly helps me.
      xo

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  5. Greetings Wendy!

    I appreciate the way breathing has helped you sort of, calm down and face life in a new way.

    I'm trying to get in more yoga-like practices. But I find that I can't focus enough to that typical, quiet meditation practice. I look forward to reading more about how it turns out for you!

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    1. Thank you for stopping by Mark!
      I promise not to bug you for awhile.

      I practice a breathing technique, where you breathe in for 4 counts, hold your breath for 4 or 5 counts, and then breathe out for 8 counts.
      I practice this in the car, at night, or anytime I need to refocus and calm down.
      It really does help.
      xo

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  6. Deep breathing, particularly now we're entering those spring filled days, is a joy Wendy I agree :) xx

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    1. Yes, Lou!
      Mostly I love the way I can use my breath as I move through my day.
      Calming or helping me get energy.
      xo

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  7. I love this post! One of the greatest gifts of living sober is being present in life. There are so many gifts. You are spot on about that. Congrats on 31 months! You are an inspiration!

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    1. Thank you, Susanne.
      The trick is for me to look for the gifts.
      By writing, I seem to be able to find them more!
      Thank you for your support!
      xo

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  8. I find such HOPE in your posts, I share them to my daughter whom is struggling to get sober, I wish I pray and I print and send to her to read what living sober could do for her, she just can't see it. I see it in you so I know there is HOPE, but its a lot of grief and work to get there. Im so proud of you, for getting to this day but to also be BRAVE enough to talk about it. I follow you to understand the pain that my daughter suffers from this addiction and I know that it is up to her to choose a new path, YOUR proof to me that it can be done. Thank you for sharing. and HUGS for a getting on the sober path of happiness, you are so worth it as is my daughter she just has to believe it.

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    1. Dear CCDecks,
      Thank you.
      The hard part of being a loved one of someone who is addicted is the pain of seeing what could be, but not being able to help them.
      Mr. UT struggled with this.
      There really was nothing he could do. I had to reach my bottom, to be humiliated, before I was ready to really become sober.
      Until that time, I never thought I could live a happy life without drinking.
      Now, I really understand the pain that Mr. UT was living with.
      I am truly blessed by your comment.
      I wish your daughter peace today.
      And I wish you peace.
      Much Love,
      Wendy

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  9. Thank you Wendy, I need your kind words and I will continue to pray for my daughter, your support and blogs are so very helpful.
    Please continue to share it really does help in so many ways. cc

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  10. It's Marahu from Real Life. This is so beautiful Wendy. Your words are putting me to bed. Thank you. ❤️

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    1. Hi Marahu!
      Yay!! It worked!
      Thank you so much!!
      xo

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  11. The gift of being grateful is a truly wonderful gift, and one that keeps giving back to us. Mr UT looks very happy with his new saw :)
    There are many words of wisdom in this post, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us Wendy <3
    Donna

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