Learning

Staying Warm by the Fire!

Dear Readers,
Our furnace went out on us, so for two nights we were without heat. We did survive thanks to our gas fireplace! Everything was FROZEN!
But today, as I write this, we are getting a new furnace, and soon we will be toasty!

I am amazed at what I have learned being sober for over 39 months now!
My first year sober, I was growing, but it didn't always feel like it.
Now I understand there are times of growth, and times of rest. It also takes time, and the amount of time is different for each person!

What have I learned?

I have learned that my basic attitude each day must begin with gratitude. Even on days my body does not want to get up, or it is hurting, I say, "Thank you body for being able to get up. There are many people who can't!"

Gratitude is everywhere in my recovery circles. And I now see the reason for this. People have gotten their life back by being sober! If I start my day with being grateful for all I have, I lack nothing! I have more to give other people!
I have so much! Do I want somethings more? Yes, but I don't need anything. (Except for the furnace!)

I have learned I am loved, but I don't need to be loved by everyone!
I am a unique person, as we all are! When I try to please everyone, or try to be accepted by everyone, I feel so much resentment and unhappiness. 
I am loved by many people. I love them back! The world does not revolve around me. I am learning to detach with love. To be grateful that other people become friends, even if I am not included in that group. 
Instead of wanting to be somewhere I am not wanted, I am learning to give time to the people who do love me!

I have learned that resentments were a way for me to feel "better" than the other person. I felt that I was the right one, and I deserved to feel resentful.
All that happens when I think this way is that I get upset. If there is an issue I need to address, then I address it, or let it go.

I have learned the joy of volunteering in recovery. There is something so rewarding in going to the Steve Rummler Hope Network, and making kits with naloxone, or going to a detox center and sharing my story with the people there. It brings me an awareness that goes beyond my little world. So many people need help. I can offer a little piece of help to them. Pure joy.

I have learned that I have to accept my situations in life, but then take action if I don't like them! I often complained I feel lonely. But did I really take actions to change that? I often sat in my house all day feeling sorry for myself. Now with going to meetings, volunteering, and keeping up with my good friends, I am taking actions to push myself out into the world. 
Complaining about something, but not doing anything about it, only makes me feel stuck! It takes work and dedication to make changes. In the end it is worth it. 
This is true for getting sober, too. I had to accept that I could't drink, but then I had to take action to get support for myself!

I have learned that life is life. It's not always fair. There are hard times and not so hard times. By hearing stories of hope and strength from other people, I have been able learn from their spirit of perseverance, even in the worst of times. I am often awed at people who have a positive attitude even after having lost a home, a body part, a loved one. Sometimes these people have a great faith in God, but others have a faith that things will work out one way or another. 

Getting sober is what made these learnings happen.
If I were still drinking, I would still be stuck in the poor me place, everybody wronged me, I am not okay mess. Yuck! I don't want that anymore!

I am excited to see what else I will be learning in the future!

While waiting for the furnace guys to finish,
On Day 1190,
Wendy