New Post by Mr. Untipsy!

Dear Readers,
A Long Time Ago!
I asked Mr. UT to write another post, and when I read his words I thought they seemed a bit down, or negative. While we were in the car wash, (with tricolor foam), I asked him if he was still worried about my drinking. He said he still remembers the times he came home from work, thinking things were ok, and found me drunk. He said that thought pops up from time to time. 
What I learned is these conversations need to happen. I need to know what he is thinking, so I can keep his worries close to my heart. He is worried because he loves me. 
I love this man.

Words from Mr. Untipsy:

It has been three and a half years since Untipsy Teacher quit drinking.  Three and a half years or 42 months or 1277 days.  No matter how you count it, it is a long time.  Yet, I can still remember the time before she became sober.  The arguments, the sneak drinking, the worrying, lying and mistrust.  Sometimes it seems like yesterday and I have to remind myself to concentrate on the here and now.  It can be too easy to worry about what might happen instead of focusing on what is happening, and what is happening is amazing.

Untipsy Teacher has worked hard on gaining her sobriety.  She has developed tools and found a community that works for her, she has reached out to help others and in the process, she has helped herself.  She has also helped me and she has helped our marriage.  During the past three and a half years, we have learned how to have fun, socialize and live without alcohol.  

We need to remember all of these valuable lessons, but it is also important to remember the past and the reasons why we stopped drinking in the first place.  I will never take for granted the hard work and determination Untipsy Teacher has put in to get to where she is now.  I think that is an important lesson we need to keep in mind.  Whether it is three and a half years or three and a half days, value the sober here and now, but remember the trouble, pain and heartbreak of the past.  Knowing the cause of that pain can only help make us more determined to prevent it from returning.  That knowledge can give us strength.

Seeing UnTipsy Teacher’s determination makes me work a little harder in life, though I still need to work harder on my diet and lose a few more pounds.
Learn from the past, celebrate the here and now and work for the future.  Someone much smarter than me coined these words decades ago but this phrase is as true today as ever. 

Remember why you quit drinking in the first place.  Celebrate all that you have accomplished.  Enjoy your sober life today and keep working to strengthen your resolve and commitment to your future.  Remember, it is your future.  You are getting sober for yourself.  You are no good to anyone else until you are taking the steps to help yourself, and in so doing you will be helping everyone around you.

Our future looks so much better than it did three and a half years ago. Not drinking has brought UnTipsy Teacher back to me and we want our lives to stay that way. I still get worried that I am taking for granted that our present lives will remain unchanged. No one knows the future but you can work to make it what you want it to be.  It may not be perfect and it might not even be what you had planned on but it will be better without drinking, and that is what is important to remember. 

Today I am grateful for UnTipsy Teacher’s three and a half years sober.  It is an accomplishment to celebrate.

With a Clean Car,
On Day 1277,
Mr. and Mrs. Wendy

PS - I published this a day early. My sobriety date is September 4, 2014

Comments

  1. I don't have a partner so it is interesting to see it from the other side and realise what a worry it must have been coming home to who knows what. I think its important for couples to have these discussions like you are doing even if they are uncomfortable it opens a dialogue. Well done to both of you, Wendy for reaching 3.5 years clean and sober and to you Mr UT for being by all accounts and excellent husband and support.
    I am definitely one of the ones Wendy has helped along the way.

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    1. Hi Ginger! I am always so happy to hear from you! I was really lucky to find my hubs in high school! I know the most what hubs is thinking when he writes a post!
      Hugs!
      xo

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  2. What a great pair you two make. Beautiful how you both support each other and live your best lives.

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  3. Thank you Mr. UT! You are an amazing example of support and love so very needed for your lovely maiden's journey. You are a big piece of her success. PS Can you clone yourself.? Please?

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    1. Lol! I did get a good one! I’ll be sure he reads all the comments!
      xo

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  4. This gives me a good window into what my husband might be thinking, but not saying. I assume that he misses the "fun" me that was drinking. I'm starting to suspect I wasn't all that fun. Thanks for the post, Mr. UT. I'm going to bring it up on our long drive this morning.
    Thanks to you too, Wendy. ; )

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    1. I know that even talking about it makes me anxious, and it must make him anxious, too!
      xo

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  5. I read this and I think about the 9th step promises. You and Keith are awesome. Congrats on the milestone prompted me to look at my calendar and I just hit 2.5 years. (8/31/2015). Keep moving forward, y’all!

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    1. Thank you, HD! Congratulations to you, too!!
      xo

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  6. I love the "throwback" photo! So much love, then and now. Thank you, Mr. UT, for your perspective and support. You are a beautiful couple. xx

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    1. Thank you, Lori! He’s a keeper that’s for sure!
      xo

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  7. What a wonderful post. Thank you Mr. UT and wonderful Mrs. UTT.

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  8. I think that my husband would echo lots of this post. We do have a stronger, closer marriage, not just because of my sobriety, but because we have learned to be really honest with each other. And sometimes the truth does hurt, but as someone much wiser than me said (and I wish I could remember who) - the truth is always kind.
    Thank you both for this post. xx

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    1. Hi Jackie! I am glad to hear from you! Yes...is it kind, is it necessary, is it true.
      xo

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  9. What a great idea to post from Mr. Untipsy!!! He has I’m sure expressed what many of our partners felt but could never articulate. Thankyou 😘

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    1. Thank you, PG! I got the idea from Lucy, over at a Hangover Free Life!
      xo

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  10. Craig and I are also much closer. I see the growth and energy in him. I assume he sees the same in me. We are both sober.
    I know he hopes I never drink again, mostly for my metal health. It’s not easy to have a deeply depressed wife who is trying to drown her depression with wine.

    I completely agree that it is vital to be thankful every day that today we don’t drink. To remember how desperately we wished our lives were different.
    Overcoming addiction is a hard thing. It’s worth celebrating every day.

    Thank you for the glimpse into your life.

    Anne

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    1. It is worth celebrating every day, Anne! I know hubs is happy my depression is so much better now, too!
      Thank you,
      xo

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  11. Mr. UT is touched by all your wonderful words. He says Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️

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  12. Please thank him for me as well. I love it when I see couples who have been together "forever" work to stay together, support one another and grow with each other.

    And how he ended the post was perfect, "No one knows the future but you can work to make it what you want it to be. It may not be perfect and it might not even be what you had planned on but it will be better without drinking, and that is what is important to remember."

    I shall remember that for sure!

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  13. This is so beautiful! Mr UT is such a lovely man and you guys rock!

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    1. I got a good one that's for sure!!!
      And he's a hunk!! LOL
      xo

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  14. Thank you Mr UT.
    One reason I stick around AA is that it means I'm constantly reminded of why I stopped drinking I'm taken back to that dark place where I couldn't live with it, I couldn't live without it and I was unable to muster the courage to stop living.
    This also reminded me I was I think about 18 months into sobriety and left work one day. It had stopped being necessary to call my wife every time I left work and my sponsor too so they could check up if I wasn't back home in good time. However I did just text and say "Just leaving" to Mrs F. The phone was in my jacket in the back of the car. There was a crash on the motorway so I was delayed. I pull onto the drive happy in that I'd not let the crash affect my mood - hey it was sunny I was sober all was great. ... Mrs F was out the door in a flash I was pushed against the car and she was livid, boiling angry. She was sniffing me, questioning me, looking in my eyes. In seconds it was over and she was crying saying sorry she hadn't trusted me. Boy - 25 years of drinking can't be fixed in a few days, weeks or months. I took 4 years for my daughter to accept me back into her life and another 4 before she actually told me how it had been for that 8 year old girl as I raged around in my drunken madness.
    I often joke that my marriage is more remarkable for surviving the recovery than the drinking - I laugh it off but actually I do truly mean that.

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    1. Thank you, Graham. I appreciate this. I made sure Mr. UT read this!
      xo

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  15. I love this! I imagine my husband shares many of these thoughts as well.

    Thank you for sharing! I love that Mr. UT is willing to do this!

    Xoxo

    Vanessa - Free to be V

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    1. Thank you, Vanessa! I love reading what Mr. UT writes! He reads all the comments so he will see this!
      xo

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  16. I have been a bit of a 'chicken' and have still been unable to have a proper conversation with my husband about his feelings when I drank. I know fine well I was horrendous. The most important thing in my life at that time was alcohol. Everytime I think about his feelings, I cringe. I feel so ashamed that I really just can't have that talk with him yet. We have talked about how life is much better now I don't drink.

    Mr UT posts about his feelings are to be commended. I've read them and they have helped me understand what my husband is probably feeling ..... mainly - "Can I trust her?" And, in doing this, his blog posts have really helped to keep on the straight and narrow - I can understand my Husband's concerns and I never ever want to let him, my children or myself down.

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    1. Thank you. It helps me so much, too, knowing what he thinks. And I too, never want him to feel that pain again!
      xo
      Wendy

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