This weekend some of my family and I celebrated my mother's 90th birthday.
It meant a bit of organizing and traveling, but not too much.
My mother is independent, living by herself in her own house.
She is a musician and still plays her violin for music clubs.
My sister and I, and our husbands, came to our mother's the night before and we all went out to dinner. We had a great time, talking, laughing, and reminiscing. Nobody drank.
The party was just right. It was at lunchtime in my mother's home. Many of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren were able to come. It wasn't fancy, just a gathering of people who love her.
Nobody brought or drank alcohol.
In the past, things would have been different. I would have had wine the night before. I would have been sure we had champagne and wine at the party. Of course, I would be the one who almost always had too much. I am often anxious at parties, even with people I know and love. I used to think drinking helped me loosen up. But most of the time I just got too loud, trying to be cute or overly funny.
Now, I am the only one at this party who is not drinking anymore, but I was so grateful that my family did not bring anything to drink, not because of me, but for the overall party. It was calm, happy and fun. We were great role models for all the children present. No one was driving after drinking.
After everyone left, my husband and I stayed for another night. In the past, I'd still be drinking.
I would feel icky, be sloppy, maybe get mad about something. Instead, we went for a walk, helped my mother with her computer, and ended the night just being content.
All of this proves to me once again, it is not only possible to be sober at a party, it can be good.
So at 7 months today, I can say, I am happy I am not drinking.