Friday, April 10, 2015

Happy Friday!

Dear Readers,
It was raining, then snowing this morning, and then it turned SUNNY!
I am wearing my sandals now, because I just can't stand being in boots any more.
This is pretty normal weather for us in the great mid-west. 

I started my beginning drawing class last night. 
All we did was to draw boxes, cones, and spheres.
I'm not the worse one in class, nor am I the best.
Just right in the middle. (This is my opinion!)
It was fun, and I will keep going for awhile. 
Now I need to practice. 

One of my yoga teachers asked me how was sober life. She was happy for me.
I am surprised that my answer was not a cheery one. In fact, I just said "It's okay."
But as I was talking to her, I thought, well I am happy right now. So I told her that.
My Loved One is sure happy.
But honestly?
I sometimes still am a little sad I can't drink anymore.
I don't feel sorry for myself, and I am not having bad urges or anything.
It's just sometimes I still wish I could have some wine at restaurants and dinner parties.
(Not that we go to many parties.)
Sometimes I think this is related to my depression. When I am down, my views on sobriety are down. 

As more time passes, I know I will feel stronger. 
I certainly feel much stronger than 7 months ago!
I went to one of my favorite AA meetings this week, and I felt welcomed home.
I understand that these connections are very important to me, both to help me stay sober, see  good role models, and just to make a human connection.
We celebrated a man who was sober 25 years.
He is a very cool guy, who is a great help to newbies. 
I noticed the people who have been sober a long time seem much more content in life. 
They have a strong spiritual foundation. 

I do miss my Women for Sobriety friends, and might see if I can get to that meeting next week. They have a program that is very life-affirming. 

Finally, as I had said before, I had a cochlear implant put in last fall. 
The cool thing is, I can hear birds now. I haven't heard the little chirps for years!
They are noisy, and I love it!


I wish you all a wonderful weekend!

8 comments:

  1. I love listening to birds! I know what you mean about getting down about not drinking any more. I feel that way sometimes, but I definitely don't want to start again, wouldn't want another day one ;-) hang in there! Lori K

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    1. Hi Lori!
      Ugh! No day ones for me either!
      I'm feeling better!
      Thank you!
      xo

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  2. As I'm walking away on the treadmill in the morning, I can slowly hear the birds come awake as the sun comes up and they are real chatterboxes! Of course I take this for granted...maybe not as much since reading your post. Thank you.

    I'll tell you a secret...I'm still sad from time to time that I can drink - it's normal. Next week the hubs and I are going to Atlanta. Me for business and he's tagging along. Monday also happens to be our anniversary so we'll celebrate while there. I just told him this morning that I wish I could have a lovely glass of Chardonnay while we have dinner.

    But then I play that movie to the end and even now, after five years of being sober, I know that I don't just want one glass of wine...as I'm typing this I can feel the need to just keep drinking to oblivion. Sigh...

    Playing it to the end always brings me around. I'm still sad because I wish I wasn't this way but there's no wine on the planet that could take the place of my life now.

    Hugs,
    Sherry

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    1. Sherry,
      What a beautiful response. I am almost in tears. I am glad I am normal. There is no 1 glass for me either.
      Thank you.xo

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  3. You definitely don't want another Day One. As you know, I've had many, and they are GRIM. You're doing brilliantly and I find your posts really inspiring. Annie x

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    1. Dear Annie,
      Thank you! Day ones are awful! That's for sure!
      XO

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  4. I get what you mean about not drinking again sometimes too but would not go back! AND interesting that you note the sober people seem more content! love that.
    hugs
    Lisa

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    1. Hi Lisa!
      I am more content, too!
      I sometimes forget that!
      I was very unhappy when I was drinking!
      Hugs to you!

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