Tuesday, July 14, 2015

There Isn't a Quick Fix

Dear Readers,
I am good.
I am sober and blessed with good people and things in my life.
I don't have to worry about going hungry, or having a place to live, having clean water, or war.
The only thing I have to worry about are my own thoughts and feelings, not only about not drinking, but life in general.
My thoughts can make or break me.
I can rejoice in what I have, or get dejected because of what I wish I had.

My thoughts around being sober are mostly good. 
I can still feel sorry for myself from time to time, especially at dinner parties.
Instead of praying for those feelings to go away, I was told by a wonderful long-term AA member to pray for acceptance of those feelings. 
It seems like a paradox, but by asking for acceptance, I think I am saying my feelings and thoughts are valid, but changeable.
If I get angry and yell at them to go away, I am denying how I feel.
But I don't want to get stuck wallowing in self-pity.
All I can do is state how I feel, and ask for help.
All I can do is vocalize my thoughts and see if they match reality.

This same kind gentleman assures me it will get better with time.
I told him I'd give him 5 years, and he better be right!

Can I trust that the process is the solution?*
I can't have all the answers right away.
Can I trust that by showing up, reading, listening, laughing and praying, things will get better?
If I reach out, I will get help.
But it still is a process.
Processes take time.

I saw this saying today by Nancy Leven:

Honor the space
between no longer
and not yet.

And this is what I will do.
Honor this space, this process, knowing that if I continue on this path, I am healing and all will be well.

With Love On Day 313





*(From the book Love Idol, by Jennifer Dukes Lee)

10 comments:

  1. Hi Wendy,
    Great post. And you're so right, there is no quick fix. We all have our good and bad days. And sometimes it seems a little overwhelming. But it can only get better, surely?
    Some days I feel sorry for myself too. But I try and not think like that. Life is so short. We just have to get on with it.
    You are doing so well. You are an inspiration.
    A x

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    1. Hi Angie!
      I don't stay in the self pity mood for long, because you are right. I just get on with life!
      xo

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  2. What great advice from your AA friend, and the quote too :-) It makes sense to just acknowledge those feelings, instead of ignoring them, which can only lead to trouble!

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  3. Wow, love the idea of honoring a space - an emptiness - and making that the focal point instead of things and striving to get places. You followed the whole arc from lack and sacrifice, through gratitude to acceptance and moving on.
    Thanks,
    bren

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  4. Yes. In that space of just being. Still and calm.

    Goggle Matt Kahn and listen to his talk on the love revolution. He has a beautiful way of encouraging people to love whatever arises.

    You are doing great. If every day was rainbows and unicorns life would be boring. But it's best to be prepared for rain. That's why you have support.

    Anne

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    1. Dear Anne,
      Thank you for your support!
      I need a huge amount of support, that's for sure!
      xo

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  5. Such a great post Wendy!

    It really hit home with me, honouring that space.

    I thought getting sober would fix everything in my life, turns out, whilst its a huge help, its just the start of a better life.

    Love and hugs my friend.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, Daisy!
      I am finding I can't run away from myself!
      xo

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