Sunday, December 20, 2015

Memories

Dear Readers,
Rice Park in St. Paul, MN
We went out to a Christmas dinner in the city of St. Paul. It was a very romantic restaurant located in an old mansion. The food was lovely and the company even better! We stopped by Rice Park in St. Paul to see the trees.
It was gorgeous!
(And COLD!)

This is my second Christmas sober. When I read my posts from last year, it seems as if I didn't have too hard of a time. I don't really remember. But this year has not been difficult, even though I have been out and about.

There are many drunk memories I'd like to forget, but there was one that came to mind when we were at the park.
Two years ago, at Christmas time, we went to a show in St. Paul. I had been drinking all day at home, and of course wanted more when we went out. I had more before the show, and in fact, I fell into the row, and couldn't get up, as I was that drunk.

I couldn't hear the words, so we left, and went to a restaurant where I ordered more to drink. I had a partial blackout, remembering bits and pieces. 

This is in the past. It's gone. But the lessons are there to teach me. And they are so simple. Drinking makes nothing better.
It adds no joy to my life. 
Sober Love
It adds no happiness to my life. 
No clarity. 
I am missing nothing, except humiliation and embarrassment. 

I can now look back at the drunk Wendy and hold her with love and compassion. She didn't know any other way. She did the best she could.
In fact, I am proud of her, because she never gave up. She kept trying to find a way out of the madness. 

This year, after our very short walk through the park, hubs found that he couldn't unlock the car. As I was freezing, jumping around like a kid, he gave up. He had to climb through the trunk, through the back seat, to finally get the car door open.
I SO wish I had a picture of him all dressed up, seeing nothing his legs and feet sticking out of the trunk. 

It was hilarious!
(Well, at least it was to me!)

With Love,
On Day 472

20 comments:

  1. Yes. I feel sorry for that Wendy too. And there was a similar Anne.

    But those days have helped us becom the people we are now. And today is worth it!

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  2. OMG, you two are so damn cute! What a beautiful park. Merry Sober Xmas, Wendy:)

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  3. Im glad you can see that old version of yourself with compassion. Im learning to do the same and getting better at it every day. (Haha I wish you had a picture too)

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    Replies
    1. I am only now able to do that. It took awhile.
      xo

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  4. Replies
    1. Yes, that's for sure!
      I don't want any more ghost visits!
      xo

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  5. once upon a time there was a girl called Lisa who did that stuff toooooo. omg!
    cool Post Wenz

    love Lisa

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    1. Hello Lovely Lisa!
      So glad we are sober!
      You were one of my lights!
      xo

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  6. I can't wait until I am able to forgive my foolish self...

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    1. We must forgive ourselves if we ever hope to move on.
      I no longer live in shame of past.
      I can only live today.
      With so much love!
      xo

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  7. Love this post. I still struggle to forgive "That Lori". It will come in time, I'm sure. Oh how I wish you had a photo of Mr Untipsy in the trunk! Have a lovely holiday! xx

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    1. Hi Lori!
      I have read several books on forgiveness.
      One I loved is "Forgive for Good" by Dr. Fred Luskin.
      Happy holidays to you, too!
      xo

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  8. Replies
    1. Thank you!
      This Christmas will be a wonderful present to myself and hubs!
      xo

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    2. Keep on shining that light Wendy, seems it's pretty bright to me.
      Merry Christmas
      Love Gael

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