On Friday, I woke up with strong urges. I was surprised at first, as I haven't had any strong urges about drinking for many months.
We were packing, getting ready to drive down to Wisconsin to bury my FIL, and celebrate my mother's birthday. She turned 91, and still plays her violin!
On the car ride down, I was still upset about these urges and pulled out all my tools to help me.
Here is what helped:
1. I talked to my hubs, voicing my feelings.
2. I "urge surfed", something I learned in treatment, by just breathing and riding them out.
3. I let myself feel my feelings, and I let myself feel sorry for myself for a little while.
4. I distracted myself with games on my phone, and took a nap in the car.
5. I looked for the triggers, and I realized there were many. We were dealing with many weekends of traveling, eating out a lot, and socializing both happy and sad times.
The urges soon went away, and I had none for the rest of the weekend.
When I looked closer at the triggers, what stood out the most is the amount of socialization time where everyone except myself and hubs were drinking. Most were drinking a lot.
I find it interesting to look at people drinking, and see the changes in personality and their faces. Most people start to get flushed in the face. They get more animated, sometimes silly, sometimes more opinionated. Definitely they get more talkative.
I know when I drank too much, I talked a lot more and much louder. In fact some of my friends would tell me to quiet down.
I also saw one woman I know get very drunk. It was so obvious, and I was sad for her. I don't think she knew what she looked like to the rest of the group. She was "sappy", couldn't hold a conversation, and had a hard time standing. I noticed she was the one who kept getting drinks for her husband.
I just wonder how we got to a place where in everything we do, everyplace we go, people drink. Alcohol is tied to every social event I go to. I wonder how soon before it is offered at fast food places!
All I know is, I am happy I am not drinking.