Friday, April 8, 2016

Peace of Mind on Day 583

Some of the beauty we saw.
Dear Readers,
My father-in-law died this week.
We are so grateful he is out of pain. 
Thank you for your lovely comments on my last post. 
Mr. Untipsy said, "Thank you."

Nothing is better than the peace I have not drinking.
I know I have written about this before, but it keeps coming back to me when I think about drinking.

I have peace of mind that I won't hurt someone while driving drunk.
I have peace of mind that I don't have to hurry to find the bottles I hid from hubs before he gets home.
Peace of mind I don't have to wake up with anxiety and night sweats in the middle of the night.
Peace of mind I won't have the endless depression cycle of drinking and remorse.
I have peace of mind knowing fights I have with hubs are normal, not alcohol fueled.
Peace of mind that I won't be causing more drama in my life due to my drinking.
Peace of mind I won't wake up with a hangover.
Peace of mind that I won't make a fool of myself at parties and have to call the hostess to apologize the next day.
Peace of mind I don't have to look to see if I sent any drunk e-mails.
Peace of mind I won't have blackouts, wondering what I said or did.

If at anytime I think I miss the excitement of drinking, I just need to remember how out of control my life really was. 

I am going to another dinner party tomorrow night with my close couple friends. This is still the hardest time for me. I still have so many memories of drinking with them. I am working on disconnecting those thoughts. It's the one time I can get to feeling sorry for myself. 


This time, I am going with these thoughts:
I am happy they are my friends. They have 100% supported me through this journey in sobriety.
I am happy we are still sharing good laughs, memories, and good food.
I am happy they can drink.

But most of all, I am happy I will have peace of mind that at the end of night, I will lay my head on my pillow and rest with no regrets.

With Big Hugs,
Wendy

33 comments:

  1. Hi Wendy,
    Congratulations on 583 days sober! You are an inspiration. Enjoy your dinner party. A x

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Angie!
      No turning back now!
      xo

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  2. Sorry to hear about your father-in-law. You've done well not to slip back into drinking in this tough week. I know I'm only young, but I often reminisce of phases in my life where I enjoyed myself with friends (or alone). Those fun times were at a high-price to my own well-being and family. I think that's only natural to miss those moments. But whenever you look back on that excitement, rather than focus on how out of control your life was, maybe think about how much you've grown and how well you're doing. Missing those times doesn't mean you want to be in that time, so don't ever let that get you down :). Have fun at your party Wendy!

    Hugs,
    Francis

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    Replies
    1. For a young guy, you sure are smart!
      That is such great advice!!
      I will re-read this before my party!!
      xo

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    2. Thanks, I'm so glad you found it useful. It's funny how much a small change in your outlook on experiences can make a difference. Keep it up :)

      Francis x

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  3. P.S. I noticed just under your title you've written
    "A retired teacher is trying to quit drinking.", I would personally say that you've quit, but maybe that would mean a whole new blog haha :p

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  4. Hey Wendy - so sorry to hear about your father in law. I hope you and your lovely hubby are doing ok.

    On the dinner party - I love that you have a plan and some positive thughts there to drive out the "poor me's". I will try this tactic myself soon.
    Love, Red xx

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    Replies
    1. Hi Red!
      Thank you.
      I want to be grateful for what I have accomplished instead of sorry for myself!
      xo

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  5. I'm so sorry to hear your news Wendy. Enjoy this evening and the peace of mind that you know that you can do this :) xx

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    1. Thank you, Lou!
      I just want to not be so anxious!
      Not that I'd drink, (they won't let me), but that I can enjoy myself and not get uptight!
      xo

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  6. Dear Wendy,

    Sorry to hear about your father-in-law. My condolences to you and Mr TNM.

    Congratulations on your 583 days! I love your list with points. Ooh my, the anxiety and the dislike of self. Today a collegue of mine started smoking again during the break after quitting for more than a week. The struggle on his face was, well readable, the disappointment and self hatred :-(. I am very glad I do not have to walk down that road every day again when it comes to alcohol.

    I am happy that I quit! I am happy that you quit too!! <3

    xx, Feeling

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    1. Me too, Feeling!
      I am happy I quit, too!!
      Thinking that drinking again would really send me into the self-hatred!
      xo

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  7. Wendy, please accept my condolences on the death of father-in-law. And I sure hear you about the peace of being sober! Sending a big hug to you and your husband. I hope the dinner was a success! xo

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    1. Thank you, Thirsty.
      I was much calmer at the dinner last night.
      xo

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  8. I love your list. I am going to print it out and post it where I can see it every day. It helped me get through a dinner out last night without a Cosmo (or two or three). Thank you!

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    1. Dear SM,
      The dinner was fun and relaxing. I went with the attitude that I am in a different place, and that is a good place for me!
      I was much calmer.
      xo

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  9. Wendy & Mr Untipsy, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your father in law is at peace now, I know it was hard, but so greatful that you were present & sober to help your husband get thru this difficult time. Sending prayers & hugs to you both xx

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  10. I'm so sorry to hear this news. Take care x

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  11. I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. Sending you sober warrior hugs and much love. Prim xx

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    1. Thank you, Prim.
      Funeral is this weekend.
      xo

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  12. Dear Wendy,

    I'm so sorry to hear of the death of your FIL. You are doing so wonderfully and your list is very helpful. Nothing is improved by alcohol. Nothing changes for the better.

    Sending love and hugs to you,
    Hope you felt the love and support of your friends
    Claire

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    1. Hi Claire,
      Thank you. Alcohol would not make this better.
      xo

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  13. So sorry to you both about your father-in-law. Best wishes xxx.

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  14. So sorry about your father-in-law. Hugs to both you and your husband.
    The endless depression cycle is my personal rock bottom.
    Thank you for inspiring me along my rocky path to sobriety.

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    1. We each inspire each other!
      You help me, too!!
      xo

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  15. So sorry to hear about your loss, hugs to both of you! xo

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  16. What a beautiful gift he left the world ..a caring,supportive husband who loves you...that is something to celebrate! Your strength to handle this with both eyes open is a beautiful gift right back to him. Love you both so much.

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