Up, Down, All Around
I am sorry I have been absent from the blogging world for a little while.
I think I just needed a break for a bit.
But not to worry, I am still here!
Most of my time away has been good.
Mr. UT is good.
His labs came back as precancerous, but not cancer.
So he will have to go back in 6 months for another check up, but the doctor seemed happy overall.
I have been reading books, going to yoga, and going for long walks with a friend and Mr. UT.
I am still loving my volunteer job and going to meetings.
Our fall season has been beautiful, and I can't help but show you a few photos I took of this season in our city.
But I have been struggling with a few things.
Fall can be a tricky season.
With fall comes parties, and with parties come the thoughts of wishing I could drink.
I won't drink, but the thoughts still come.
Just the last few days have been hard.
The most important thing I have learned about thoughts about drinking is to tell someone about them. I don't keep them hidden, so I can stay accountable.
With fall comes fading light, and with fading light, comes some low energy and isolation for me. I find I am spending time watching endless election news, which makes me upset.
I am isolating a little bit.
I know I should reach out, but tend to sit in pajamas and veg out.
I am also playing way too many computer type games, for way too long.
I have also been struggling with insomnia. I have been so tired, and that makes my thinking and my mood so low.
I have tried magnesium, cutting back on caffeine, computer time, all the things I am supposed to do, but sleep eludes me. That makes me miss golfing, and some of my favorite yoga times, as I can't get up early enough. It makes it hard for me to read or post on blogs.
The one thing that does seem to help is walking outside, in the daylight, for at least 45 minutes.
The problem is, I can't make myself do this by myself.
So unless my friend can go with me, I don't go.
I think on my strong days, I need to shore up more support for myself. I can set dates to meet people at meetings, for coffee, or for exercise. That way, I won't have to think of doing this on a gray day when my energy is low.
Today I made it to yoga, am writing this post, and will read as many blogs as I can this weekend.
We have a small dinner party tonight, with all of our good friends.
It's so nice out, I am even wearing flip flops!
Big Hugs to All,
On Day 779,