I told my Loved One that I wish I could be funny on my blog.
I said, "My posts are so boring."
He said, "Your posts are very thoughtful."
I am SO glad I married him!
I keep looking at ways I can enjoy what I have, rather than lament about all I have not.
I keep looking at ways I can enjoy all I can do, rather than be sad about what I cannot do.
Yesterday, it was rainy, dark, and our first cold day. I spent the day in the house, mostly reading. It would have been better for me to get out for a little bit, but I didn't.
Instead of feeling bad about myself, I looked at it in a different way.
I was so happy I could snug in with a good book, instead of racing off to work early in the morning.
I was happy I could make the bed, and put the dishes away, so the house looked nice when hubs got home.
I was even happy I could watch Dr. Phil.
I am finding it is the small treasures of life that are important.
Did I water my flowers, feed my birds?
Did I do the laundry, make the bed?
Did I go to my AA meeting?
Did I take a walk and look for the beauty?
Did I spread some joy today?
Call someone to make their day better?
Did I hug hubs when he got home?
Did I thank someone today?
Was I kind to myself today?
These are the little treasures of life, and I am only now understanding how powerful they can be.
Do I wish I could save the world?
I do. But I can't.
I can only do what I can to make this little bit of my world a place full of love.
I am finding I have to meet life on its terms.
Because in some areas I have so little control.
My age, my body, my eyesight, hearing, these are things I cannot control.
And although it sometimes seems my life is getting smaller, and narrower, it really isn't.
It's just different.
I went walking with a friend today around a city lake. Our city is full of fun things to do and see with many lakes and bike paths. Our fall is beyond beautiful.
We had a yummy lunch, and laughed al the way home.
I know if I were still drinking, I'd be missing out on these things.
I'd be so concerned about who and where I'd get my next drink with.
I would be sure any place we went had alcohol.
Once I had some at lunch, I'd be sure to get more at the store.
And then hide it from my Loved One.
Who knew I'd been drinking anyway.
It kept me from being close to him.
It kept me a prisoner.
It certainly didn't help my life become richer, healthier, or happier.
Learning to slow down has taken me a year, and it is still a struggle to not feel bad about myself at times.
But it is getting better.
This I know for a fact: all the work I am doing with my living angels has helped me love myself more so I can love other people more.
Getting sober was the first, most important step.
So here is my boring, thoughtful post today.
And by the way, I am very fun and funny in real life!
At least I tend to think so!
With a Laugh and Love,
On Day 406