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| Yes, I can get a little crazy! |
Last year at this time, I had just had my cochlear implant operation, and the surgery was horrible experience. I was throwing up all night, and had no idea what was ahead for me. What little bit of hearing I had was gone, and it would be a long journey to healing, getting fitted with the outside unit, and realizing I couldn't hear music anymore.
Now, although I still grieve about music, I am happy I can hear more speech than I did before my operation. It's not perfect. I still have problems in any place that has background noise. I still read lips, or as a woman who has been deaf all her life taught me, its called "face reading".
Stopping drinking was, and still is, a little bit like this. At first it felt like a horrible experience. How would I ever make it? I had no idea how I would be able to cope with all that was ahead. I only knew how to be in any social situation with a drink, or in my case, many drinks.
I felt sad. I felt a huge loss. Who was I without drinking?
Now, I am happy I am sober. It's not perfect. There are still times I wish I could have a drink. There are times I get strange at a dinner party, and feel sorry for myself. But not as often. In fact, there are many, many more times I feel good I was able to let go of the self-destructive path I was on.
Healing takes time. No matter what the situation; an operation, a loss, or stopping drinking, it takes time to recover. I hope to carry this lesson forward with me, as I know there will be other times I will need to heal.
Halloween is coming soon, and I thought I would share this photo I had my hubs take several years ago. This year I have a tutu I will wear to yoga on Halloween. Along with my ears.
My hubby and I had an agreement, that we would only buy Skittles for the kids, because that is the one candy I don't like. But when I went to get a Diet Coke from downstairs, I found a big bag of KitKats he was trying to hide!! Now I LOVE KitKats! So does he. So we shall see how many are left by Saturday night!
With Chocolate, On Day 419
I have the biggo costco bag of mixed candy bars, it's truly gigantic. We normally buy the jolly ranchers because I don't like them, but NOT THIS YEAR. hahah! Enjoy your KitKats! Your halloween pic is super cute, I think you should defintely be blond:)
ReplyDeleteMe too on the blond!!
Deletexo
Love the picture! Sobering up takes a long time, and it is not an easy path. It is difficult. It is emotional. I struggle a lot, as you know. You always keep me going. You show me what optimism and determination can accomplish. Wendy you are great, and thank you for showing me that even after a long time sober, there is a little bit of struggle left.
ReplyDeleteDear Time,
DeleteFor me, wine was so connected to who I was. So it took some time to figure out who I was without it.
xo
I love the picture and I love that long blonde hair!!! LOL!
ReplyDeleteSherry
Me too!
DeleteI was a real blond a long time ago, with big 80's hair!!
It was very fun!!
xo
What a great photo! And hooray for finding the candy stash ;). xx
ReplyDeleteI still haven't eaten any yet!!
DeleteI must be sick!
xo
I completely had hair like that in the 80's too. well now I think of it in the 90's as well! Your smile in the photo is infectious, as is your attitude of dealing with difficulties with courage, realism and humour. thanks for this great post. oh and 'with chocolate' is a fantastic sign-off! with peanut butter and banana sandwich from me! Prim xx
ReplyDeleteDear Prim,
DeleteThank you for the kind words!
I hope the sandwich was good!
xo