Sometimes I wonder what to write, after having been blogging over a year. But then I remember that writing this blog not only has helped me stop drinking, it might help someone else, too. At least that is my hope.
It's also healing. By writing down my thoughts, I have to clarify them, and sometimes I realize how mixed up all my thoughts are.
I don't have to have great words of wisdom, although I'd like to be able to write an occasional gold nugget here and there.
I was looking back over my old posts, and came across this one I called,
Be The Hero of Your Story:
I heard this on Dr. Phil.
(I know. But I am retired!)
I love stories with a hero.
A person who saves the day.
Rescues the princess (or prince).
Who frees the animals from cages.
So, who is my hero?
It can ONLY be me.
I am the only person who can save me from
Drinking too much.
I can get help from everyone,
I can get support and love,
But in the end,
It is me
Who chooses to use that support and love.
Who chooses to take that help,
Who choses not to take that drink,
Who chooses to fight,
To save me.
I have to laugh a little bit at my early writing, as it seems so simple to me now.
But, I am very proud of myself for continuing to blog.
I have to be responsible for taking care of myself and my life.
As soon as I see myself as a victim, I am on the losing side of a battle.
I certainly didn't pick having problems with alcohol, but I can't ever play the "poor me" card. Ever.
The way I was headed would have meant losing my dear husband.
I would have gotten at least one DUI.
I would have had financial troubles.
I would have ended up in the ER room again.
Today, I am trying to choose to see only what I have gained, what I have, and what I love.
Most of the times I succeed.
That's all I can ask of myself.
With Wonder Woman, On Day 420