Thursday, May 25, 2017

Life Is Not Fair

Dear Readers,
It's finally partly sunny here, after many days of rain.
Or maybe it's partly cloudy.
I never can understand the difference between those two weather phrases.

I think life is like that.
It's part sun and part clouds.
Sometimes it's raining, and sometimes it's not.
Like the weather, it's unpredictable.

I am working hard to challenge myself on my thinking that I am a victim in life.
I am not.
Life is not fair.
It never will be.
That is the truth of the matter, and the only thing I can do is to meet life with a brave heart.

Role models help me do this.
All the sober people on-line, and in real life, are role models for me.
All the women in my family, have all been role models.
People past and present, those who have seen more rain than sun, but continue with faith, are role models.

I recognize that I am far more optimistic, now that I am sober.
When I was younger, I used to be sunny person, but later when my drinking got heavy, I complained a lot more, about my job, my health, other people, everything.

I am slowly working my way back to accepting that I will have problems because that is life.
Everyone has problems, in one way or another.
I am learning I can accept my feelings, that they are normal human emotions, but I don't have to stay in them.
I can think differently, look at things from another point of view, and my feelings change, or become less intense.

Life is constantly changing.
It ebbs and flows, sometimes too fast for me, sometimes too slow.
But I am powerless to stop the change.

I did not choose to have a problem with alcohol.
I know my father didn't either.
But we did.
And it is with a brave heart, and much faith, that I continue staying sober.

With Love,
On Day 994,
Wendy

23 comments:

  1. Wendy I am with you! I have so much to be thankful for yet I can focus on the negative if I am not careful. For me, as an introvert, I need to keep busy enough and make sure I do something social every few days. If I isolate, I get moody. I don't know if that helps I just find it is true for me. Have a great day!

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    1. Very true for me, too!
      In fact, I need some kind of social time each day.
      I have plans for my Tuesday and Wed, and Friday, but want to add a social time to Monday, as that is my hardest day!
      xo

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  2. Great post...so much truth. Accepting IS tougher than it looks. Hugs!

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  3. Replies
    1. Guys - this looks interesting, what are you doing in 6 days? or is it a surprise?
      M xx

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  4. Yay! Day 994 :-) I realised I just passed a 1000 days 6 days ago but I guess I can celebrate tomorrow just as fine. :-)
    Wishing you a nice day 996 if you still get to read this.
    xx, Feeling

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  5. I've always been resentful o not being able to cope with the unfairness of life, but being sober certainly helps! Closing in on 1000 days!! Congrats! xx

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  6. Hi Wendy

    This has to be the best post you have written for me. It is so well articulated and is a deep insight into how our lives can turn around from positive to negative without perhaps us even realising. Then we are victims. Then we self-medicate. It goes steeply downhill from there.

    You have turned positive to negative back to positive and many never make it back around.

    This is really in inspirational post and I am so lucky to have you and others to help, inspire, support and share love with this on-line community.

    I am very grateful Wendy and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    Michelle xxxxx
    Day 200

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    1. Wow!
      200 days!
      I am so thankful for your support as well, Michelle!
      We are stronger together.
      xo

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  7. Dear UT-

    It would appear we been on the same page in a lot of ways recently. This post really summarizes the mood I've been in. That in between stage of weather. I think I'm always there. Even when I think everything sunny there some new front ready to roll in. I really enjoyed this piece.

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    1. Thank you, Mark.
      I go high, then I go low.
      I think that is the way I roll!
      I hope your weather pattern stays sunny.
      xo

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  8. Pema talks a lot about this where you use the suffering or perceived suffering as a spritual practice. Thank you for this lovely post Wendy. xxx

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    1. I read one of her books a long time ago.
      I think I will look her up again!
      Thank you, HFC!
      xo

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  9. as every a lovely reflective and helpful post to read, thank you. I know from my own experience that sometimes writing posts that seem full of acceptance is because I have been struggling so hard with acceptance, so I honour your struggle for that, too.

    your words about role models reminded me about a technique that I used earlier in sobriety on the emotionally dark days, which I think I need to pull out again.... I close my eyes and visualise the faces of all those I know and love and who support me - mostly women friends of my own age or older. I see them sitting around me in a circle, smiling, encouraging. I imagine their faces and feel safe, supported and loved whatever my circumstances.

    guess what - you are in my circle!! I would be honoured to be in yours if you would like me there...

    thank you for being here and for your hard won wisdom. Prim xx

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    1. Oh, Thank you, so much Prim.
      I would love to be in your circle!!
      And I love knowing I am in yours!
      I love that visual, and the feeling of being always supported.
      xo

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  10. I wish you many days of bright,clear, sunshine ahead. My moods are very weather reliant and on a sunny day I am usually happy, upbeat and optimistic, cloudy day not so much and rainy days I am miserable. I try not to be a slave to my weather moods but they are tough for me to turn around.
    I love that you challenge yourself persistently, maybe I need to do that more also.
    Here's to sunny day ahead.

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    1. The weather affects me so much.
      I am glad I am not the only one, but I wish no one had to suffer this.
      I am sure it must have something to do with the barometer or the amount of light, or something.
      I wish you sunny days, too, Ginger!
      xo

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  11. You are such a support to me and from the look of these comments to others as well. You are a sober champion and it never occurred to me that you perceive yourself as anything other than warrior like, for what that's worth.

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    1. Thank you so much!
      I like that thinking, a sober warrior!
      xo

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