I was thinking about
How hard I have been on myself,
Most of my life.
It makes life so difficult. not only for me,
But people around me.
When I get mad at myself for a mistake,
I tend to carry that to my Loved One.
Part of trying to be "perfect" in teaching,
Also led me to drink.
I couldn't live up to my own expectations,
And so to cope, I drank more.
I couldn't live up to the standards that were expected of me,
And so to cope, I drank even more.
Being gentle means,
With all my flaws,
With all my goodness.
Being gentle means, I cannot be perfect.
I cannot do everything "right".
I can only just be.