It Really IS Better

Dear Readers,

I must admit,
My life is better
Without drinking.

Never thought in a million years,
I could see this,
Feel this,
Grasp this.

It alluded me for years.
Life without wine?
A martini?
No life at all.

And that's the lie.
For me.

Now that my eyes,
Are little wider opened,
I am in awe of the joy
That surrounds me
When I'm not blurred over
By alcohol.

It's not that I drank every day.
I didn't.
But when I did drink,
It was almost always,
Too much.

It changed me from 
Nice girl to messed up girl.

It was more of a feeling of 
"I can't WAIT to have my wine."
A longing, my lover.

Now, I am aware of
My real loves.
My husband, my family, my friends,
The earth, God.