Thursday, February 19, 2015

From Prickly to Softer

Prickly
 
Soft  -  My hairdresser's dog.
(She gave me the okay to post her photo! LOL)
















Dear Readers,
One thing I have noticed over these last 5 months of working hard on my recovery is that I am getting less reactive, and less easily angered. I seem to take things a little bit softer. 
I like this.
It feels nice.
I have looked at my resentments (in AA) and have let many of them go.
When others pop up, I release them as soon as I can, or try to look at them differently.
When I get angry at someone I have to ask myself, why I am so quick to anger?
What am I worried about?
Sometimes, I want to be right. 
Sometimes, I want to listened to.
Sometimes, I am worried I am being left out, or forgotten, and I can get angry about that.

What helps me is to look at the point of view of the other person.

Maybe they also want to be right. (This would be my Loved One!)
Maybe they don't know I need to be listened to. Have I told them?
Maybe they had no idea they were leaving me out, they are very busy.

Some of my anger stems form being self-centered. The world does not revolve around me as much as I think I'd like being a star! Some of my anger stems from not speaking up for myself in a loving way.
It's too easy to jump on somebody and then learn I had misjudged them.

I am reading the book, Uncovering Happiness, Overcoming Depression with Mindfulness and Self-Compassion, by Elisa Goldstein, PhD. He suggests this bedtime forgiveness review:

As you lie down, look back over you day. If there is anyone who has harmed you - including yourself - knowingly or unknowingly, out of pain, confusion or ignorance, practice saying silently in your mind: "Breathing in, I acknowledge the pain; breathing out, forgiving and releasing this burden from my heart and mind."

I am not getting any younger. If I spend my time being resentful and angry, all I will be is a bitter old lady. Besides, I hate prickly! 

6 comments:

  1. This is so true. And I always the love the question 'would you rather be right or happy'? Sometimes I forget to ask myself in time though. Being sober helps. A lot.

    Hugs,

    SR

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  2. Hi
    yes, so true. I don't want to be a bitter old lady either!
    I saw my neighbour out walking yesterday. she looks like a bitter old lady. not sure if she drinks but her face is sad and bitter. I don't want to be like that. well done you
    Lisa

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  3. I hate prickly too - and am prickly a lot more than I would like!
    Lovely post - thank you, Claire xxx

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