Thursday, December 11, 2014

Sick and Tired

Dear Readers,

It's been a long week. Fighting a cold, having many doctor appointments, and learning to hear is tiring. Now being tired is normal. But I get mad about it. I think I shouldn't be tired. I think I should be able to go and do everything even if I am sick. 

That makes no sense. LOL

I think I don't want to miss out on something, or that I won't live up to my or other people's expectations. LIke writing this blog. If I don't feel good enough to write it, then that's ok. But I feel guilty. 
Or going to yoga. If I don't have the energy to go because I am sick, then I should rest and not go. But again, I feel guilty. 

If I have to cancel a lunch date, I feel as if I am letting other person down. The guilt comes again! This kind of guilt is so useless. It doesn't help me change for the better. It just makes my life harder. 

Unrealistic expectations and misplaced guilt led me to drink. I couldn't accept I was a normal person. I had to try to be perfect. Which as I am learning, is not possible. This is where I need to learn to let go of my tight hold on life. To learn to be an average, normal person. 

And so, the only thing I need to do today is take care of myself. 
(Luckily for me, my Loved One takes care of himself!) 

(Oh -  and I do apologize for this imperfect post! LOL)

2 comments:

  1. Self-compassion involves caring for yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Instead of just ignoring your pain with a “stiff upper lip” mentality, you stop to tell yourself “this is really difficult right now,” how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment? Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect? You may try to change in ways that allow you to be more healthy and happy, but this is done because you care about yourself, not because you are worthless or unacceptable as you are. Perhaps most importantly, having compassion for yourself means that you honor and accept your humanness. Things will not always go the way you want them to. You will encounter frustrations, losses will occur, you will make mistakes, bump up against your limitations, fall short of your ideals. This is the human condition, a reality shared by all of us. The more you open your heart to this reality instead of constantly fighting against it, the more you will be able to feel compassion for yourself and all your fellow humans in the experience of life
    hugs from nz
    Lisa
    www.thecword-selfcompassion.com

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  2. Dear Lisa,
    Thank you for teaching me about self-compassion! Might be my new word this year!
    Funny how I have great compassion for lots of people, but for myself? Not a clue!
    Hugs Back!

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