Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Being Gentle With Myself

Dear Readers,
Yesterday I had a wonderful session with my therapist.
Even though I have seen therapists for many years, I am still learning.
I asked her, "Shouldn't I have this all figured out by my age?"  HA! Apparently not!
Without boring you with all the details, the bottom line was self-compassion, with being gentle with myself.
(Lisa, a blogger, has a good definition of self-compassion. See her blog here.)

What is self-compassion to me?
It's about taking care of myself when I need to, as I would take care of someone I loved.
It's about talking kindly to myself.
It's about understanding where I came from, and acknowledging that.
It's about treating myself as nicely as I would treat other people.

There is some research out about self-compassion.
This is from The New York Times:


Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family?
That simple question is the basis for a burgeoning new area of psychological research called self-compassion — how kindly people view themselves. People who find it easy to be supportive and understanding to others, it turns out, often score surprisingly low on self-compassion tests, berating themselves for perceived failures like being overweight or not exercising.
The research suggests that giving ourselves a break and accepting our imperfections may be the first step toward better health. People who score high on tests of self-compassion have less depression and anxiety, and tend to be happier and more optimistic. Preliminary data suggest that self-compassion can even influence how much we eat and may help some people lose weight.   (Read the article here.)
Today I practiced gentle self-talk.
I woke up feeling out of sorts, a little tired, blue.
I had planned on going to a meeting, going to yoga, and then the eye doctor.
I started to get mad at myself, knowing I did not feel good enough mentally to get to yoga or a meeting. 
Then I stopped.
I said, "I feel a little bit down. I can take care of myself right now."
Instead of trying to force myself anywhere, I read a book for awhile.
Gentle, gentle, gentle.
When I got up, showered, went to eye doctor, I felt good.

I am an up and down person.
I can be madly flying one day, and quite low the next.
But if I can be very gentle, and love myself with a deep respect, I do believe I will be happier on my down days. 
Today was living proof. 

6 comments:

  1. Good for you! I really think it's time I get myself into therapy!

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    1. Dear TMSN,
      I've had some wonderful people help me! Just one bummer guy.

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  2. I am like that too. the up and the downs. I HATE it. I need to get out my self compassion list again and get on with it. well done to you and thanks for the Post
    Lisa
    www.thecword-compasssion.com

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    Replies
    1. Hi Lisa,
      I think we need to love ourselves even more on our down days.
      I have hated many things about myself for too long!
      Time for love!
      Peace and Hugs!

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  3. This is such a great post. I love what you wrote, "I can take care of myself right now." That is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your sensitive heart and soul on this blog! So glad to have found it.

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    Replies
    1. Dear CWD,
      Thank you so much for your kind words! I can't believe I wrote this over a year ago!
      Time is flying!
      I still have to treat myself with gentle hands, as it is so easy to be mean to myself!
      xo

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